Faithful God

I was just reading through some of my old posts… You know when you journal an entry and you come back to it months or years later just at the right time? Those of you who journal know what I'm talking about… words that you wrote years ago were meant for today too. The same thing happened to me today when I re-read some old posts of mine. Brought tears to my eyes because God is so faithful. He knows the future.

Well, this post was meant to broadcast that I HAVE FEARS. I have been a fearful person for years. Particularly, I have feared the word "no" since I can remember, I have feared rejection, I have feared romantic relationships, I have feared not having control of situations, I have feared making myself vulnerable but I have feared shutting myself out... I have feared fear itself!

So I have come to shout that I AM SO TIRED OF FEAR! So exhausted of it really. It just PARALYZES you! It's stifling my FAITH! I am afraid of picking the wrong grad program. I am afraid of not being someplace I need to be at a certain time because I'll miss out on something. I am afraid of disappointing people so I just become a people pleaser. Done done done! Fear is just making my life into a stinky, hairy ball of fear tumbling down a mountain!

It takes discipline to control your thoughts against fear. It takes faith to halt fear and tell it to talk to the hand!

I serve a faithful God. I serve a God who knows my beginning and my end, my rise and my fall. I serve a God who has loved me with an everlasting love. I serve a God of love that casts out all fear. I serve a God who has formed me from the depths of the earth. I serve a God that used a stutterer to lead a nation out from captivity. I serve a God that supplies all my needs… in fact, He has already supplied them because He knew I would need them. He's always ahead of the game. I serve a God that calls the impossible possible. I serve a God that is able to step down from His throne, actually humble Himself for some time on earth, die the basest of deaths, and still rise up from the dead to actually give undeserving people eternal life. I serve a God that made an invalid literally stand up and start walking, oh and even more importantly, I serve a God that forgives……. It all comes down to His grace…. why? Because His grace makes me not be afraid anymore. His grace gives me hope, faith. He breathes into me once again and lifts my fetal-positioned body out of fear and infuses love in my bones. Yes, He is faithful.

"…for God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7