The Passion of the Christ

Dad asked me, "So you up to watching 'The Passion of the Christ'?"
My immediate answer is, "NO."
He always asks me why.

Think about this:
If at one point in life I watch my biological father, or a loved one, going through such pain, screaming out of unbearable suffering, barely having the strength to get up and keep walking... would I want to watch that
again? Not in a million years.

Now don't think that I abhor the happenings of Jesus Christ. Not at all.
I praise the Lord Jesus for what He did and what He went through. I've watched the movie once and tears flowed uncontrollably. I was frozen and in shock. The visuals that the movie portrayed were so vivid... to think that a person went through that agonizing pain and torture. And not just a person. Jesus, "Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death- even death on a cross!" Phil 2:6-8

And John Piper said in his book Don't Waste Your Life, "No manner of execution that has ever been devised was more cruel and agonizing than to be nailed to a cross and hung up to die like a piece of meat. It was horrible. You would not have been able to watch it- not without screaming and pulling at your hair and tearing your clothes. You probably would have vomited."

And that's exactly why I would rather not watch "The Passion of the Christ." It evokes intense emotions, even at the edge of insanity... an insanity of unbelief in such torture and not having enough emotions to express them. People might say that I don't have the guts to watch what Christ really went through. They might say that I really don't recognize His sacrifice by denying to watch the movie... but if knowing of His sacrifice [simply from His Word] and His victory changes and moves all of me into living for Him and worshipping Him with my entire life, the movie takes nothing away from the effect of His passion on my life.

Watching it [The Passion] makes my heart shrink, which isn't bad at all. In fact, it's profitable. It makes me realize my clear dependency on Him... on how great He really is. What He went through for me. Where He stayed for me. How on the cross He thought of me. ON THE CROSS! THINKING OF ME? Of all things... He thought of me. And finished His mission on the earth.

Watching it is ok. Not watching it is ok.
I'd rather not.

**Feed off of His Word.**

Christmas Day Pensitivities

It's Christmas Day

Just finished reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis :) Awesome... makes you think.

Read (past tense) Matthew 5... realizing that Jesus was an extreme guy during His time on the earth. He not only said, "Don't murder." He said, "Don't even get angry at someone for no reason or call him an empty-head or a fool [or you'll be exposed to the lake of fire]." He not only said, "Don't commit adultery." He said, "Don't even think about getting with another person other than your spouse." He not only said, "Love one another." He said, "Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you." He not only said, "Do not deny him who asks to borrow something." He said, "Give him twice the amount. If he wants to take your tunic, give him your cloak. If he compels you to go a mile, go two. If he slaps you in the face, give him the other cheek to slap you again."
Talk about extremes and just plain dying to yourself.

Reading this makes me ponder on this last year... and even the year to come (about my cotidian doings).
Interesting... We try to plan for the upcomming year and try to make resolutions... but what about the now? Every single day is one to verbally confess that we are the Lord's, that we are alive to follow and obey Him, that we breathe because He allows us to, that our bodies stay intact because He permits it, that we have in our possession His eternal word that others might not know about.

Think about it. Where are we now? In a place where the Lord wants us? Or is there something in my life hindering His movement in my life? Because we do have that capacity: to permit or reject His moving in our lives. So we must regularly examine ourselves. Not just at the end of the year. Why Christ might come in the Summer! So then if we just think back once it's the end of the year, then it's of no real use. God's an "always" God. God works always... not only when we stop to really realize that He is.
Like breathing, we're always breathing. We don't breathe only when we realize that we're inhailing and exhailing. Breathing is so regular and such an everyday thing that we forget the fact that we're actually breathing. But I sincerely pray that I never take the Lord's constant calling out to me and His continual grace for granted. That it doesn't become just some type of "background music" that fades away, yet still being there, due to some habituation process.

So God is always working, and when we stop to realize that He's working is actually when we stop to realize how much we're letting Him work in our lives. Why wouldn't God want to work in our lives every second of our everyday lives? I mean radically work in our lives. We are in desperate need for Him and He's not a God to hide from His creation or play hide-and-go-seek. He makes Himself known! So it must be us. We're the one's impeding His working in our lives. Whether it's looking to other things for pleasure or creating idols or loving things more than Him, such things creep into our lives yet we are flagrantly creating a larger cliff between us and God. Why would we do that?!
Instead, call out to Jesus Christ who's, in a more vivid sense, the bridge that gets us from one side of the precipice to the other in order for us to meet the Father.
These pensaments remind me, once again, that the Lord is already working in and through me, that He is so willing and eager to work in and through me and you more than you or I can ever imagine, and that you and I must die to ourselves every single waking day in order for that to happen.


P.S. He says He'll help you the whole way through ;)

When I'm Driving into Eternity

When I'm driving I usually have some type of music or sermon going on...

I've been known to be a girl who plays the same songs over and over... and over :D
Mom or sis are always requesting a different cd ha ha... but for some reason I don't tire of listening to the same music. These are some of the songs that I listen to over and over:

Arms Open Wide- Hillsong United
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
This is Our God- Hillsong
I Exalt Thee
I Will Exalt You- Hillsong
Sing to the Lord- Hillsong
Like Incense/Sometimes by Step- Hillsong
Albertine- Brooke Fraser
Beautiful Exchange- Hillsong
El Aire de Tu Casa- Jesus Adrian Romero
Mi Universo- Jesus Adrian Romero
Oh Lord, You're Beautiful- Jesus Culture
I Surrender All
Amazing Grace
Captivate Us- Watermark
Who Are We Fooling? (And Brooke Fraser's music in total)
Hallelujah- Bethany Dillon
Only Hope- Switchfoot

And there's a ton more but these are the ones that are usually repeated... and maybe I like the melody of the songs but what stands out to me are the lyrics... what's the message? If the melody is beautiful and the lyrics are horrid or make no sense to me... then I discard it. That song's "vibrance" so-to-speak or its meaningfulness, if it has any, will easily and hastely fade away. Like a beautiful person; if they have rotten insides, then the outside and all its shine is superficially built because what's inside lasts longer than what we can see. So if you are to judge a song, judge it by its lyrics for THERE lies its meaning.
That's my reason for the over-usage of the "Repeat" button with those songs... poor button ha ha. I can sing them over and over and over and not once do I get tired of it.

Now, entering the matter of hymns.
Hymns are known to be "old", outdated, boring, too slow.
Ha ha, and in fact I LOVE hymns. Yes I do :)
I dunno... like when I first heard "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" I just remained still and closed my eyes. Such a beautiful hymn speaking about what we should be focused on. This is a portion of a hymn written in the 1920s, still applicable today in this day and age. How? It speaks truth, from His word. Because His word is applicable ALWAYS. Hymns drip with the truth of Jesus Christ! They express a prayer of mine. Like "I Surrender All," "I Exalt Thee," "Amazing Grace," or simply songs that demonstrate qualities of the Lord: love, forgiveness, purity, surrender, living a holy life... what He's done, what He offers.
Maybe I just love hymns because they've stood the test of time. They still stand true today and I can open my mouth to sing along because they AREN'T outdated. They're so modern actually.

NOW entering the topic of repetition... because I tend to wonder why I replay songs over and over without getting jaded. And just saying, "It's because I like them... they're my favorite" doesn't seem to quite answer my question: why is it that I replay these songs over and other people prefer to hear other songs?

Hillsong has the tendency to repeat a verse in their songs over and over. Why? To emphasize a point. To linger in that specific moment, statement, words, thought. To dive in, go deeper. To seriously consider what is being said or sung. To absorb it into your mind and heart. To meditate on it. It's not just to make a song longer or fill in some more seconds of the track. If that were the case, then the band would just sing, "La la la's." There's something about repeating the songs that I tend to repeat that aids and reminds and refreshes the soul. I come to understand more of who the Lord is. It is in the meditation of His word as well as the dwelling and the repeated confession of that one verse, where He ministers to us.

So hymns are in reality up-to-date because the Lord is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Replaying songs 7 times in a row never gets old because His messages are never dull or fading.
     There's more than enough time to think about Him and consider His ways.
          So take that time because it ripples into eternity.

THIS IS A TEST

Classes ended about 4 days ago for me. I took 19 credit hours, 7 classes total but only attended 6 classes and I'll tell you why in time.

I checked if my grades were online last night and I had 4 of them posted: 3 A's... and an F.
WHAT?
Never had I seen an F on my transcript. And there it was. A big, fat F. F is for feo ("ugly" in Spanish).
I was in shock, but I got to it! Went to my email and wrote two professors... So here's the spiel:

This F was posted for a Spanish class (of ALL the subjects possible, ha ha: Spanish)... which clearly pointed that SOMETHING surely went wrong and it wasn't me. Before the semester began I took a placement test to see if I could be exempt from this Spanish class. I took it (which took me about 3 hours and a throbbing finger from writing so much) and was informed later that I passed with an A to the Lord's praise. So that meant that I didn't have to attend the class; I just had to register for it to get the credit, for it to go towards my minor. And that's exactly what I did. I informed the professor of that class about my situation so that everything went smoothly... until I saw the F on my unofficial transcript.

It was late last night by the time I saw the horrible grade and wrote the professors to see what was up, so they were probably going to respond until the next day. Waiting... oh what a skill and exercise.

After writing the email I went downstairs to the living room where mom and dad were and sat on the couch. I was silent but my mind was going 100mph. They were aware that I was checking if my final grades were posted so dad asked, "So did you find out what your grades are?"
I choked. My right hand went to my eyes as I was telling myself in my mind, "Suck it up. Don't cry, don't cry." Mom muted the T.V. and her face automatically showed concern, "What happened honey?" In the midst of my cracking voice I told them about my F on my trascript and how confused I was about why that grade was there.

Now pause for a moment.
In the aftermath (which I will reveal later)... I started thinking: "Why did I respond in that way?" With automatic fear and anxiety and tears of frustration and confusion...
1) I saw the F on my unofficial transcript and I was like, "Oh my goodness it's on my TRANSCRIPT" which I totally consider extremely legit and final.
2) I thought, "I must have missed something in the process of being exempt from that Spanish class. Maybe I HAD to attend class? But why? Maybe someone gave me the wrong information and I took their word for it..." So these thoughts haunted my mind except TRUST. In who? The Lord. Not once did I think about that in the midst of this dilemma. Why?
Mom and dad assured me it was just a mistake and that it could surely be fixed...

Let's continue.
A coworker at work early today let me check my email on her phone, which I greatly appreciated. I checked and one of the professors had written back to let me know that it was a mistake and that it could easily be fixed with some paperwork. Later, the professor of the class wrote me to let me know that she effectively changed my grade from an F to an A.
I was relieved!
NOW I was relieved huh? When everything came out the way I had wanted and had planned since the beginning of the semester.

Mom asked me later (when I told her about the outcome), "Praise the Lord. See? Everything came out right. How come you reacted that way last night? (Me freaking out)"

I took this question directly from the Lord, not my mom.
Yes, I strive in my studies to get good grades and I expect a certain grade in the end... as in life, one plans for the future to see specific fruits. But what happens when your plans are altered? What if things DON'T come out the way you had planned?
In my case, I tried to scurry and find reasons for the glitch. "What did I do wrong? What did THEY do wrong? I need to fix it now!!!!"
But instead of finding a "reason," why didn't I trust? Trust the Lord...
I automatically got flustered.

To my shame and humiliation, but to the Lord's exaltation, I realized a few things:

1) I can plan for certain things, maybe do everything step by step and meticulously to get everything right; but the Lord decides what happens in the end.
       This was declared ages ago in the Lord's word in Proverbs (16:1). So what are we to do in these situations? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Prov. 3:5

2) Even in situations that deviate from your calculated plans and could naturally evoke frustration, praise Him anyways. "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:18
              My response was anxiety, frustration, nervousness, fear but the Lord said, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6


I am now reminded of Peter walking on the water... a tiny glimpse of doubt invaded him and he began to sink.

So from this I conclude that the Lord is more legit than anything that we can even see with our eyes and touch with our hands. He's way above and more powerful and in complete control of every single detail of the universe. I conclude that even if I miss something, some step, or even if I do EVERY single step for a specific outcome, Jesus Christ's will will prevail. I conclude that I need more of Him. I conclude by sincerely praying Luke 17:5: Increase my faith Jesus.

In grades or in life, TRUST in Christ.
Trust in Christ.

Organizing the heart

I wrote the following last night (or this morning rather). It was on my heart and I knew I couldn't go to sleep without sorting it out...

When somebody’s short with you and you don’t understand why… it’s hard to let that just slide. Well for me, I try to find the “Why.” Because it tends to hurt. And I want to know if I did something and what it was so I could fix it. But there are just some people that don’t like to explain themselves. So then what?

When you end up at a dead end what happens next?

What happens when someone’s angry at you just because?

What happens when you can’t find the reason?

What happens when you are SO certain you didn’t do anything wrong, yet the other person holds something against you? Something they don’t even want to talk about…

You know what I think? I think I should be the one to say, “I’m sorry.”

But supposedly I didn’t do anything wrong. So why in the world would I be the one to apologize?

Doesn’t seem to make sense does it? Yeah, not at first glance. But that’s the beauty of a humble heart, of surrender, of breaking pride to pieces: Being humble makes no sense, to the natural mind. It’s something I am not capable of alone. Do you know why? I am pride-full. I find myself scoffing at that person who gives me the silent treatment because I see their stubbornness and pride so ostentatiously. Still, I pay them back with the same coin: pride. Waiting for THEM to talk to me because “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Acting like my life is fine to show that they can’t hurt me; trying to act strong. But I find that this festers up inside of me. I’m convicted.

The humblest heart is the greatest.

That’s a supernatural statement. Believe it.

So as I am humbled by the Lord’s hand, I come to find rest. I come to find love. I come to find forgiveness. I come to find… my eyes set on Christ. With my eyes set on that other person, I automatically try to find something wrong with that person. With my eyes set on me, my heart falters and my pride swells. With my eyes set on Christ, everything else ends up where it’s supposed to be: below Him. Even I end up below Him. And what a wonderful place that is to be. To fall flat on your face before His mighty throne. To be in such a need for His love that it’s literally desperation. To have such a hunger for all that He is that anything but Him will just not do.

Praise the Lord for putting a desire for Him in our hearts. Praise the Lord that He made me need Him. Praise the Lord that I am nothing without Him. Praise the Lord that nothing in this world satisfies.

Meditating on how the flesh battles with the Spirit, I realize how bad I am. Yes, bad. I’m bad. You’re bad. As in awful, vile, despicable. Only by the blood of the Lamb, by faith, am I made otherwise. So I never did anything (and never will do anything) that makes me anything other than bad. It’s only Christ who changes me, who made me new, who redeemed me.

So should I say, “I’m sorry. Whatever I did I’m so sorry,” without understanding or finding a reason of WHY I’m even apologizing? Yes, I should.

There are some things in the Designer’s master plan that we’re not going to understand. All we know is that we can trust Him. That’s a promise, and the Lord is such a gentleman to never break His promises. So as we know that His promises are true, and that He repeatedly tells us to trust Him, we can hold on to that. So even if we’re clueless about certain things, everything’s fine. Because it is He in charge of shaping your life. Everything’s going to be ok because Christ, my Friend and King, is still in control. And still His Word prevails, “All things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”

The last shall be first.

The Lord draws near to those of lowly heart.

Humble yourselves before the mighty hand of God…

1:30 a.m.

Opportunity

Papa and mama are treasures in my life... each night I take the time to give both of them a kiss before going to bed. Papa asks me, "Is that a tradition you have or what?" I answer, "No, I see it as an opportunity to take hold of while I can."

Here's a little personification of Opportunity:

“ ‘What is thy name?’

‘My name is Opportunity.’

‘Why hast thou wings on thy feet?’

‘That I may fly swiftly.’

‘Why has thou a great forelock?’

‘That men may seize me when I am come.’

‘Why are thou bald in back?’

‘That when I go by, none can lay hold of me.’ ”

So this shall be the topic of this blog: opportunity.
It comes everyday... to talk to a new person, but what about? To say thank you, but what for? To pray, for what reason? To sing, about what? To smile, because? To encourage someone, but how?

SO many questions! But to these all the more I ask "Why not?"
From talking to a new person, whether it's about the weather or about Jesus Christ, why not? To say thank you, whether it's for the smallest things in life or for breath itself, why not? To take time to pray for that girl in class who vehemantly denies Christ or for that orphan I've never met, why not? To sing out loud in my car even though people stare, why not? To smile while I'm walking alone through school even though others might think I'm weird, why not? To encourage someone over and over, why not?

Opportunity invades my life! Well, that makes it sound like a bad thing... and it's actually not (although we have the opportunity for some bad decisions but I'll touch on "positive" opportunity).

Opportunity walks into my life and sometimes I don't even recognize it. Other times maybe I do recognize it but I'm afraid to take it... why? I guess I'm afraid of the outcome. Maybe someone might reject me in some way, I'll be made fun of or thought a fool, or others might think I'm too forward with some things.
(As I write these things I realize that I'm really thoughtful of what other people think... hm. Interesting.)
Nevertheless, I want to take that challenge of taking hold of opportunity.

Every day is filled with it. To say, "I love you," to sis every night before bed. Smiling to a person even though they might not smile back. Bringing up the Bible or Christ in a conversation.

What shall I do?

TAKE IT
GO FOR IT

My Week in a Nutshell

I've been thinking of themes for my next post... themes that the Lord's been teaching me this past week:

Gratitude's been a HUGE one
Submission has been another one... in the face of anger mostly...
Being joyful at all times (actually that's been a life lesson that I'm still "in class" for)
Making better use of my time... at school, at work, and at home...
Loving others even though I wouldn't be loved in return...
So I'll just speak a little about all of them:

Gratitude
I've been urged to live gratitude out instead of just saying, "Thank you." I've created the habit of verbalizing "Thank you," when I remember of my full ride scholarship, that I'm a first-generation child at college, that I can speak,when I don't understand what's going on, when I realize of all the blessings that I have, when I seem to be having the worst day of my life...

I say "Thank you," not to the air or to empty space but to the Lord listening to me; because it's directed to Him. There are two aspects here: 1) I verbalize my thanks because keeping it inside is like not opening a present when you recieve one, you just HAVE to open the gift up, so I have to open the thanks in my heart with my lips. 2) I have found that only saying thanks isn't enough. I want to express my thanks in something that portrays an announcement, a broadcast of my thanks... like some say: living out loud. The more you think about what you should be thankful for, the more your cup is filled until it overflows and THAT'S what I mean by "broadcasting my thanks": overflowing gratitude.

Submission
Oh what a theme! Submission. When I think of submission I mostly think of humbleness in the face of adversity, in the face of situations that make me itch to speak up in retaliation, in moments when I DO have the opportunity to defend myself: BUT I DON'T. Why? That's the greatness of submission!: having the option to take things into your own hands but choosing not to; choosing to submit to something... and I've submitted to God. Even to leaders in my life such as my parents. Maybe you think I sound like an adolescent saying this but sometimes when I don't see my parents being fair towards me I get bothered... yet I submit. Because I am to honor them. The Lord has put them in my life (rather put ME in THEIR lives) to teach me of who He is. So when the flesh whispers to talk back, to stop being obedient, to do the things that do not please my God, I call out in desperation to my Rescue, to my Redeemer and His Spirit counsels me in wisdom and truth.

Joy
How can a person have joy ALL the time? "You mean you expect me to be 'joyful' when my mom dies?! If I get in an accident?! If people make fun of me?! If I get sick?! That's impossible..."
No, it's not. Not with Jesus.
Those thoughts above used to be MY thoughts... how could the Lord expect me to be joyful in the midst of such adversity?! Yet, I started to think about it (a way in which the Lord works in our hearts) once I started a James bible study on my own... the following verses pierced my heart:

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials" WHAAAT? Then came, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." OOOOOH. Ok.

John MacArthur commented, "The natural human response to trials is not to rejoice; therefore the believer must make a conscious commitment to face them with joy."

When the Word says, "testing of your faith" in this context it refers to the proving of the genuineness of my faith in God; as how genuine a piece of so-called gold is when it is put through arduous fire.

When the Word says, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience," brings the finished product into view: Patience. In other words, trials are beneficial in that endurance is produced, perseverance is produced. Well THAT'S awesome! If trials prove how genuine my faith is and they produce endurance then bring it on!
Oh but how fragile we humans are. How unconstant we are that doubt creeps into our heart so easily because we let it. So I pray and continue to pray! That the Lord leads me back to Him in times so hard. Even hard times that are yet to come... that I may run to Him and increasingly trust in His perfect and good will.

Time
Time waits for no one. In fact, I've found time to be such a bother that I have no clock in my room. And the time that my laptop shows on my toolbar is set to only appear when I point my mouse to the bottom right of my screen. I just DON'T like time rushing me! It stresses me out. Yet, we live in it. xP
Even though, I want to make the best use of my time. T.V. is a big-time time stealer. It hogs my eyes and therefore the rest of me! Ugh. And I'm not saying, "TAKE THAT T.V. OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!" (I've heard other people say, "T.V. is the devil's box..." yeesh! That's an extremist point of view that I don't agree on.) I am saying that if you let it, T.V. will define what you spent most of your life doing.
T.V., the computer, the phone, or even laziness can be idols (and so much more). I've observed and examined what I use most of my time on. "Am I using my time wisely?" This question can be a burden but a good one at that, because I am convicted with what I am devoting my time to the most. Are those things controlling me or am I controlling those things?
So as the clock keeps ticking, so does life. What am I using my life up for? Is there an eternal purpose to it? Well the Word says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor 10:31
How convicting! It's totally directed to my lifestyle and I praise God for that because He corrects those whom He loves.

Love
Oof. Delicate subject eh? Loving others can go from loving the one who you're married to (or the one who you're planning on marrying) to loving a person that spits in your face.
Loving those who love you back is easy! Piece of cake.
But loving those who hate you and reject you? "What for?!"
Yet, this love is the greatest and the truest of any "loves" that people have created across time: unconditional love. I've lived some trials in my life that I wouldn't desire for ANYONE... not going into detail now I'll just tell you that it's mostly family-related. Loving somebody who insults you and seems to have no remorse about it... loving somebody when that somebody harms another somebody you love... loving somebody when they continuously bring up a mistake you made in the past... loving somebody when they say "Sorry" yet they do it again...

Possible? Yes.
Hard? Yes.
Worth it? Yes.

It has been such a gracious experience that the Lord has allowed me to traverse in this life. To love unconditionally... and I'm still in the process of learning. It's not that you learn in a second: "BAM! You now know how to love unconditionally! :) Thank you for stopping by! Buh bye!" It's not some fairy godmother magical bippity boppity boo moment. It's a lifetime of a lesson. And yes, we are the ones in need of loving unconditionally but we do not have to go through all of it alone: Jesus aids (what grace)! He comes to the rescue. He forgives. He loves. He shelters. He guides. He listens. He speaks. He works. THROUGH IT ALL.
SUCH an epitome of unconditional love is shown at the cross as Jesus died for us saying, "'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" He's talking about US!! Telling the Father to forgive us (those past, present, and yet to come) when we put Him on that cross! It. Is. Mind-boggling.
THAT'S unconditional love. It triumphs over everything.

And the Lord has been teaching me because before I used to say, "Oh I'd rather not get into relationships (ANY) because people always let you down..." Such a perspective was taught to me and I derived it as a child from experiences I mentioned earlier... But the Lord is faithful to correct :) so graciously might I add.

Let's face reality: you make yourself vulnerable when you have a relationship. That had always been my fear: to put myself out there and then get hurt. Yet, you also welcome forgiveness and patience and laughter and smiles and kindness and lessons to learn and the just the opportunity to LOVE someone... we all need more of that.

Read the following journal entry I made on September 19. It's one of three that I wrote that day as the Lord was speaking to me about the same subject:

Tonight I was feeling a tug on my heart. To quickly get on my knees… have you ever felt that? It happens to me at school, at work… places you usually don’t kneel to pray. I was in my room this time however. Going to get something to finish my homework yet I deviated and locked the door for no interruptions. I knelt… not knowing how to begin, what to say. Just to remain silent and recognize that I was kneeling before the King of Kings by the blood of Jesus Christ the Mediator. My main thought was, “I just don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to be betrayed.”

Then came, “He was betrayed, he was hurt. Tortured.” I was broken. Even at a glimpse of time the Father turned His face away from His only begotten son Jesus Christ! Something that seems agonizing to the soul even for a second. For a moment He was abandoned with the unbearable weight of the entire world’s sin. And I don’t want to be betrayed or hurt? Think again.

“For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” Hebrews 12:3

And what makes this more humbling is that as He was spat on, whipped… He stayed. He remained. Why? For me. For you. For those who have passed. For those who are yet to be born. He was betrayed, hurt… for all of us. Willingly. Such a thought astounds me and shakes all of me to reality of who He really is. The grand Savior. The only Savior. No one compares.

Thank you Jesus

7:58pm

"So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13

So from something as practical as making better use of my time to something as supernatural as loving unconditionally, the Lord has worked in me this past week. I can't imagine what else He has in store for the rest of my life! Even for you?!

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jer 29:11

"'You will seek me and find me, if you seek me with all your heart.'" Jer 29:13