Gratitude's been a HUGE one
Submission has been another one... in the face of anger mostly...
Being joyful at all times (actually that's been a life lesson that I'm still "in class" for)
Making better use of my time... at school, at work, and at home...
Loving others even though I wouldn't be loved in return...
So I'll just speak a little about all of them:
Gratitude
I've been urged to live gratitude out instead of just saying, "Thank you." I've created the habit of verbalizing "Thank you," when I remember of my full ride scholarship, that I'm a first-generation child at college, that I can speak,when I don't understand what's going on, when I realize of all the blessings that I have, when I seem to be having the worst day of my life...
I say "Thank you," not to the air or to empty space but to the Lord listening to me; because it's directed to Him. There are two aspects here: 1) I verbalize my thanks because keeping it inside is like not opening a present when you recieve one, you just HAVE to open the gift up, so I have to open the thanks in my heart with my lips. 2) I have found that only saying thanks isn't enough. I want to express my thanks in something that portrays an announcement, a broadcast of my thanks... like some say: living out loud. The more you think about what you should be thankful for, the more your cup is filled until it overflows and THAT'S what I mean by "broadcasting my thanks": overflowing gratitude.
Submission
Oh what a theme! Submission. When I think of submission I mostly think of humbleness in the face of adversity, in the face of situations that make me itch to speak up in retaliation, in moments when I DO have the opportunity to defend myself: BUT I DON'T. Why? That's the greatness of submission!: having the option to take things into your own hands but choosing not to; choosing to submit to something... and I've submitted to God. Even to leaders in my life such as my parents. Maybe you think I sound like an adolescent saying this but sometimes when I don't see my parents being fair towards me I get bothered... yet I submit. Because I am to honor them. The Lord has put them in my life (rather put ME in THEIR lives) to teach me of who He is. So when the flesh whispers to talk back, to stop being obedient, to do the things that do not please my God, I call out in desperation to my Rescue, to my Redeemer and His Spirit counsels me in wisdom and truth.
Joy
How can a person have joy ALL the time? "You mean you expect me to be 'joyful' when my mom dies?! If I get in an accident?! If people make fun of me?! If I get sick?! That's impossible..."
No, it's not. Not with Jesus.
Those thoughts above used to be MY thoughts... how could the Lord expect me to be joyful in the midst of such adversity?! Yet, I started to think about it (a way in which the Lord works in our hearts) once I started a James bible study on my own... the following verses pierced my heart:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials" WHAAAT? Then came, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." OOOOOH. Ok.
John MacArthur commented, "The natural human response to trials is not to rejoice; therefore the believer must make a conscious commitment to face them with joy."
When the Word says, "testing of your faith" in this context it refers to the proving of the genuineness of my faith in God; as how genuine a piece of so-called gold is when it is put through arduous fire.
When the Word says, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience," brings the finished product into view: Patience. In other words, trials are beneficial in that endurance is produced, perseverance is produced. Well THAT'S awesome! If trials prove how genuine my faith is and they produce endurance then bring it on!
Oh but how fragile we humans are. How unconstant we are that doubt creeps into our heart so easily because we let it. So I pray and continue to pray! That the Lord leads me back to Him in times so hard. Even hard times that are yet to come... that I may run to Him and increasingly trust in His perfect and good will.
Time
Time waits for no one. In fact, I've found time to be such a bother that I have no clock in my room. And the time that my laptop shows on my toolbar is set to only appear when I point my mouse to the bottom right of my screen. I just DON'T like time rushing me! It stresses me out. Yet, we live in it. xP
Even though, I want to make the best use of my time. T.V. is a big-time time stealer. It hogs my eyes and therefore the rest of me! Ugh. And I'm not saying, "TAKE THAT T.V. OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!" (I've heard other people say, "T.V. is the devil's box..." yeesh! That's an extremist point of view that I don't agree on.) I am saying that if you let it, T.V. will define what you spent most of your life doing.
T.V., the computer, the phone, or even laziness can be idols (and so much more). I've observed and examined what I use most of my time on. "Am I using my time wisely?" This question can be a burden but a good one at that, because I am convicted with what I am devoting my time to the most. Are those things controlling me or am I controlling those things?
So as the clock keeps ticking, so does life. What am I using my life up for? Is there an eternal purpose to it? Well the Word says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor 10:31
How convicting! It's totally directed to my lifestyle and I praise God for that because He corrects those whom He loves.
Love
Oof. Delicate subject eh? Loving others can go from loving the one who you're married to (or the one who you're planning on marrying) to loving a person that spits in your face.
Loving those who love you back is easy! Piece of cake.
But loving those who hate you and reject you? "What for?!"
Yet, this love is the greatest and the truest of any "loves" that people have created across time: unconditional love. I've lived some trials in my life that I wouldn't desire for ANYONE... not going into detail now I'll just tell you that it's mostly family-related. Loving somebody who insults you and seems to have no remorse about it... loving somebody when that somebody harms another somebody you love... loving somebody when they continuously bring up a mistake you made in the past... loving somebody when they say "Sorry" yet they do it again...
Possible? Yes.
Hard? Yes.
Worth it? Yes.
It has been such a gracious experience that the Lord has allowed me to traverse in this life. To love unconditionally... and I'm still in the process of learning. It's not that you learn in a second: "BAM! You now know how to love unconditionally! :) Thank you for stopping by! Buh bye!" It's not some fairy godmother magical bippity boppity boo moment. It's a lifetime of a lesson. And yes, we are the ones in need of loving unconditionally but we do not have to go through all of it alone: Jesus aids (what grace)! He comes to the rescue. He forgives. He loves. He shelters. He guides. He listens. He speaks. He works. THROUGH IT ALL.
SUCH an epitome of unconditional love is shown at the cross as Jesus died for us saying, "'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" He's talking about US!! Telling the Father to forgive us (those past, present, and yet to come) when we put Him on that cross! It. Is. Mind-boggling.
THAT'S unconditional love. It triumphs over everything.
And the Lord has been teaching me because before I used to say, "Oh I'd rather not get into relationships (ANY) because people always let you down..." Such a perspective was taught to me and I derived it as a child from experiences I mentioned earlier... But the Lord is faithful to correct :) so graciously might I add.
Let's face reality: you make yourself vulnerable when you have a relationship. That had always been my fear: to put myself out there and then get hurt. Yet, you also welcome forgiveness and patience and laughter and smiles and kindness and lessons to learn and the just the opportunity to LOVE someone... we all need more of that.
Read the following journal entry I made on September 19. It's one of three that I wrote that day as the Lord was speaking to me about the same subject:
Tonight I was feeling a tug on my heart. To quickly get on my knees… have you ever felt that? It happens to me at school, at work… places you usually don’t kneel to pray. I was in my room this time however. Going to get something to finish my homework yet I deviated and locked the door for no interruptions. I knelt… not knowing how to begin, what to say. Just to remain silent and recognize that I was kneeling before the King of Kings by the blood of Jesus Christ the Mediator. My main thought was, “I just don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to be betrayed.”
Then came, “He was betrayed, he was hurt. Tortured.” I was broken. Even at a glimpse of time the Father turned His face away from His only begotten son Jesus Christ! Something that seems agonizing to the soul even for a second. For a moment He was abandoned with the unbearable weight of the entire world’s sin. And I don’t want to be betrayed or hurt? Think again.
“For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” Hebrews 12:3
And what makes this more humbling is that as He was spat on, whipped… He stayed. He remained. Why? For me. For you. For those who have passed. For those who are yet to be born. He was betrayed, hurt… for all of us. Willingly. Such a thought astounds me and shakes all of me to reality of who He really is. The grand Savior. The only Savior. No one compares.
Thank you Jesus
7:58pm
"So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13
So from something as practical as making better use of my time to something as supernatural as loving unconditionally, the Lord has worked in me this past week. I can't imagine what else He has in store for the rest of my life! Even for you?!
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jer 29:11
"'You will seek me and find me, if you seek me with all your heart.'" Jer 29:13
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