Discipling

This past weekend I was asked by a young lady if I could mentor her.
SO humbling.
I actually felt like I was being asked out. Ha ha, as weird as that sounds, I'm talking about the "shock" feeling that I got because someone would choose ME. You know what I mean?

I said YES.
Her mom is totally on board & her mom was the first one to have mentorship in mind.
So the support is so there!

But this post isn't about that; I wanted to write about, "How do you disciple?"
I've already been asking the Lord this question and kind-of-know where to start... but this is such a huge deal. I mean I know the big picture, but what about the small details?

My heart (which the Lord sees) is that this goes a long way (which is supposed to happen with discipling).
I know this is going to be a learning process for her and myself so prayer is the way I'll go!

The Lord is my light!

Under Construction

Little by little, with everyday that passes by & I get a chance to know my Lord more and more, I realize I have a long road ahead of me. I have a lot to learn & much to grow. And this isn't meant for discouragement. On the contrary, I am excited, eager to be taught, to be shaped as His vessel... to be hemmed, You hem me in, behind and before. Psalm 139:5a


It's so easy to become so concentrated in your life, your bubble. By doing that we forget about the grandness of life. We forget the greatness of eternity & how God's purpose is beyond this life. His purpose trespasses life and death, it goes past the concept of time.

The book of Colossians explains it better. Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth (3:2). In fact, as Christians, we are called to, seek the things that are above (3:1). Actively. On purpose. Willingly. With effort.

Why? For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God (3:3). Then he continues to say in verse 4, When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. THAT'S my finish line: to be with Him in glory. That's when I won't be under construction any longer. Everything'll be perfect.

Christ is my life.

Even knowing that I have a long road ahead of me, I read this and praise Him:
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake and I am still with you.
Psalm 139: 13-18

Looking to Jesus

What does it mean to have self-control?

I've read about it, in & outside of the Bible.

I see it as a parallel to "discipline."

It would seem completely obvious and evident when you read, "Self Control."

You control yourself.

But how do we do that without the help of something greater? SomeONE greater I should say. Can we ourselves supersede areas in which we need control? No. Only God can. He is greater.

We are sinful beings full of desires and passion, full of carnal instincts & impulses.

What does it mean to have self-control? And by this I mean in all areas: spiritually, financially, sexually, behaviorally & emotionally, with your mouth, with your time, in your mind, with what you eat…

I was looking up this two-word phrase in the Word and found this:

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." Proverbs 25:28

It's complete chaos with everything running amuck. That's where my imagination took me. I imagined a huge city (much like those awesome ones in Lord of the Rings) but without the walls (very lame). So huge, yet futile because of how vulnerable it makes itself to its enemies. (This vulnerability that I speak of has NOTHING to do with the positive vulnerability that has to do with an open heart or welcoming others for the glory of the Lord.)

So the verse says that the city (us) is broken into and left without walls. This gives us the idea that the city did have walls. The fact of the matter is that from the inside, the city's walls were crumbled. Therefore, it's not that the city was seized from the outside. The enemies went in and took over it from within. Do you see what I'm saying? This reminds me of my heart, of our hearts. The Lord said in Matthew 15 how evil thoughts and actions come from within us, from our hearts; & from there it defiles us in totality. WE FALL SHORT. "Way short," is what I told myself this morning.

You might be asking yourself where this "self-control" jargon arose from. Well, I confess that my finances haven't been doing well lately. Rather, I haven't been a good steward of them. I'm disappointed and even feeling shame at this. "There are just too many expenses…" pshh, excuses (in my case).

Me, I LOVE doing numbers. I actually wanted to be an accountant earlier in my college career but decided I couldn't hone my career to only that so I switched. But I thoroughly enjoy calculating numbers and doing a budget. BUT put me in a store and I feel like I'm smack-dab in the middle of the Provers 25:28 city.

BUT IT'S ME! I'M the city!! So wait, I'm breaking into myself? How does that work? No, rather I'm allowing myself to be broken into (in the negative notion). I'm ALWAYS going to find something cute in a store. ALWAYS.

"So what?" says my spirit. "It's cute and?" I don't even need it! I just want it.

Let's get to the point:

" YOU WILL NOT SERVE ANY OTHER GOD." Man, that's convicting. (Exodus 20:3) The Everlasting God is a jealous God. He will not tolerate our worship to anything or anyone other than Him. That makes Him furious.

It's not like I'm falling on my knees before a cute t-shirt at the store. It's that I am letting the store get the best of me. I'm letting money get the best of me. That's what I've been convicted of. And rightfully so.

I have much to learn. I am starting from ground zero in this area. Ashamed. Repented.

Without all of me, even my finances, surrendered COMPLETELY to the Lord, I have no self-control. With one penny of my finances not rendered to the Lord, I have denied His complete control over it all. Likewise, with leaving one piece of myself (physically & spiritually) out of His control, I have denied all of me to Him.

Ah save me from this Lord! If there is any glimpse of me that I have not handed over to You, please reveal it to me as you have already done specifically with my finances. If there is a crevice in my heart where something is hidden that I am not aware of, Lord, I cry to You that You might open my eyes. Take any scales off my eyes to see the truth and to see the road before me!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us

Hebrews 12:1

In Life or Death

It's 2012... but the Lord lives outside of time. He is not confined to it and He does not live by it. He controls it. The thought of that reminds me of His utter control yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Last night was a blessed evening with people I love. Food, fun, laughs, catching up... I'm thankful.

For a bit I have been awaiting to read a book that I purchased for a few cents at Goodwill. It's called "My Utmost for His Highest: Updated Graduate Edition." When I saw it I remembered I had heard a ton of good things about it. It's by Oswald Chambers & I've definitely heard about him. It's a devotional for each day of the year. Each is a page and just skimming through it I was super eager to read it even before today! But I waited until January 1st to read the first entry. It talks about giving all of us to Him without reserves. One quote that stood out the most was, "I am determined to be absolutely & entirely for Him and Him alone." Just to give ourselves to Him with no reserves, no hinderances, no shyness, no shame. Each entry is also backed up with a passage from the Word.

Now that I've graduated college, I just want to have Him take control. My heart might have so many passions, desires, longings, faults, cracks, but I just know that without Him leading me I can't go on. In fact, I pray that the Lord burdens me with conviction of the need to have Him lead my every decision and my daily walk. I don't want to passively live this life but to actively engage His light within the world.

"...my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death" Phil 1:20