Looking to Jesus

What does it mean to have self-control?

I've read about it, in & outside of the Bible.

I see it as a parallel to "discipline."

It would seem completely obvious and evident when you read, "Self Control."

You control yourself.

But how do we do that without the help of something greater? SomeONE greater I should say. Can we ourselves supersede areas in which we need control? No. Only God can. He is greater.

We are sinful beings full of desires and passion, full of carnal instincts & impulses.

What does it mean to have self-control? And by this I mean in all areas: spiritually, financially, sexually, behaviorally & emotionally, with your mouth, with your time, in your mind, with what you eat…

I was looking up this two-word phrase in the Word and found this:

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." Proverbs 25:28

It's complete chaos with everything running amuck. That's where my imagination took me. I imagined a huge city (much like those awesome ones in Lord of the Rings) but without the walls (very lame). So huge, yet futile because of how vulnerable it makes itself to its enemies. (This vulnerability that I speak of has NOTHING to do with the positive vulnerability that has to do with an open heart or welcoming others for the glory of the Lord.)

So the verse says that the city (us) is broken into and left without walls. This gives us the idea that the city did have walls. The fact of the matter is that from the inside, the city's walls were crumbled. Therefore, it's not that the city was seized from the outside. The enemies went in and took over it from within. Do you see what I'm saying? This reminds me of my heart, of our hearts. The Lord said in Matthew 15 how evil thoughts and actions come from within us, from our hearts; & from there it defiles us in totality. WE FALL SHORT. "Way short," is what I told myself this morning.

You might be asking yourself where this "self-control" jargon arose from. Well, I confess that my finances haven't been doing well lately. Rather, I haven't been a good steward of them. I'm disappointed and even feeling shame at this. "There are just too many expenses…" pshh, excuses (in my case).

Me, I LOVE doing numbers. I actually wanted to be an accountant earlier in my college career but decided I couldn't hone my career to only that so I switched. But I thoroughly enjoy calculating numbers and doing a budget. BUT put me in a store and I feel like I'm smack-dab in the middle of the Provers 25:28 city.

BUT IT'S ME! I'M the city!! So wait, I'm breaking into myself? How does that work? No, rather I'm allowing myself to be broken into (in the negative notion). I'm ALWAYS going to find something cute in a store. ALWAYS.

"So what?" says my spirit. "It's cute and?" I don't even need it! I just want it.

Let's get to the point:

" YOU WILL NOT SERVE ANY OTHER GOD." Man, that's convicting. (Exodus 20:3) The Everlasting God is a jealous God. He will not tolerate our worship to anything or anyone other than Him. That makes Him furious.

It's not like I'm falling on my knees before a cute t-shirt at the store. It's that I am letting the store get the best of me. I'm letting money get the best of me. That's what I've been convicted of. And rightfully so.

I have much to learn. I am starting from ground zero in this area. Ashamed. Repented.

Without all of me, even my finances, surrendered COMPLETELY to the Lord, I have no self-control. With one penny of my finances not rendered to the Lord, I have denied His complete control over it all. Likewise, with leaving one piece of myself (physically & spiritually) out of His control, I have denied all of me to Him.

Ah save me from this Lord! If there is any glimpse of me that I have not handed over to You, please reveal it to me as you have already done specifically with my finances. If there is a crevice in my heart where something is hidden that I am not aware of, Lord, I cry to You that You might open my eyes. Take any scales off my eyes to see the truth and to see the road before me!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us

Hebrews 12:1