Dad asked me, "So you up to watching 'The Passion of the Christ'?"
My immediate answer is, "NO."
He always asks me why.
Think about this:
If at one point in life I watch my biological father, or a loved one, going through such pain, screaming out of unbearable suffering, barely having the strength to get up and keep walking... would I want to watch that
again? Not in a million years.
Now don't think that I abhor the happenings of Jesus Christ. Not at all.
I praise the Lord Jesus for what He did and what He went through. I've watched the movie once and tears flowed uncontrollably. I was frozen and in shock. The visuals that the movie portrayed were so vivid... to think that a person went through that agonizing pain and torture. And not just a person. Jesus, "Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death- even death on a cross!" Phil 2:6-8
And John Piper said in his book Don't Waste Your Life, "No manner of execution that has ever been devised was more cruel and agonizing than to be nailed to a cross and hung up to die like a piece of meat. It was horrible. You would not have been able to watch it- not without screaming and pulling at your hair and tearing your clothes. You probably would have vomited."
And that's exactly why I would rather not watch "The Passion of the Christ." It evokes intense emotions, even at the edge of insanity... an insanity of unbelief in such torture and not having enough emotions to express them. People might say that I don't have the guts to watch what Christ really went through. They might say that I really don't recognize His sacrifice by denying to watch the movie... but if knowing of His sacrifice [simply from His Word] and His victory changes and moves all of me into living for Him and worshipping Him with my entire life, the movie takes nothing away from the effect of His passion on my life.
Watching it [The Passion] makes my heart shrink, which isn't bad at all. In fact, it's profitable. It makes me realize my clear dependency on Him... on how great He really is. What He went through for me. Where He stayed for me. How on the cross He thought of me. ON THE CROSS! THINKING OF ME? Of all things... He thought of me. And finished His mission on the earth.
Watching it is ok. Not watching it is ok.
I'd rather not.
**Feed off of His Word.**
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas Day Pensitivities
It's Christmas Day
Just finished reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis :) Awesome... makes you think.
Read (past tense) Matthew 5... realizing that Jesus was an extreme guy during His time on the earth. He not only said, "Don't murder." He said, "Don't even get angry at someone for no reason or call him an empty-head or a fool [or you'll be exposed to the lake of fire]." He not only said, "Don't commit adultery." He said, "Don't even think about getting with another person other than your spouse." He not only said, "Love one another." He said, "Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you." He not only said, "Do not deny him who asks to borrow something." He said, "Give him twice the amount. If he wants to take your tunic, give him your cloak. If he compels you to go a mile, go two. If he slaps you in the face, give him the other cheek to slap you again."
Talk about extremes and just plain dying to yourself.
Reading this makes me ponder on this last year... and even the year to come (about my cotidian doings).
Interesting... We try to plan for the upcomming year and try to make resolutions... but what about the now? Every single day is one to verbally confess that we are the Lord's, that we are alive to follow and obey Him, that we breathe because He allows us to, that our bodies stay intact because He permits it, that we have in our possession His eternal word that others might not know about.
Think about it. Where are we now? In a place where the Lord wants us? Or is there something in my life hindering His movement in my life? Because we do have that capacity: to permit or reject His moving in our lives. So we must regularly examine ourselves. Not just at the end of the year. Why Christ might come in the Summer! So then if we just think back once it's the end of the year, then it's of no real use. God's an "always" God. God works always... not only when we stop to really realize that He is.
Like breathing, we're always breathing. We don't breathe only when we realize that we're inhailing and exhailing. Breathing is so regular and such an everyday thing that we forget the fact that we're actually breathing. But I sincerely pray that I never take the Lord's constant calling out to me and His continual grace for granted. That it doesn't become just some type of "background music" that fades away, yet still being there, due to some habituation process.
So God is always working, and when we stop to realize that He's working is actually when we stop to realize how much we're letting Him work in our lives. Why wouldn't God want to work in our lives every second of our everyday lives? I mean radically work in our lives. We are in desperate need for Him and He's not a God to hide from His creation or play hide-and-go-seek. He makes Himself known! So it must be us. We're the one's impeding His working in our lives. Whether it's looking to other things for pleasure or creating idols or loving things more than Him, such things creep into our lives yet we are flagrantly creating a larger cliff between us and God. Why would we do that?!
Instead, call out to Jesus Christ who's, in a more vivid sense, the bridge that gets us from one side of the precipice to the other in order for us to meet the Father.
These pensaments remind me, once again, that the Lord is already working in and through me, that He is so willing and eager to work in and through me and you more than you or I can ever imagine, and that you and I must die to ourselves every single waking day in order for that to happen.
P.S. He says He'll help you the whole way through ;)
Just finished reading Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis :) Awesome... makes you think.
Read (past tense) Matthew 5... realizing that Jesus was an extreme guy during His time on the earth. He not only said, "Don't murder." He said, "Don't even get angry at someone for no reason or call him an empty-head or a fool [or you'll be exposed to the lake of fire]." He not only said, "Don't commit adultery." He said, "Don't even think about getting with another person other than your spouse." He not only said, "Love one another." He said, "Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you." He not only said, "Do not deny him who asks to borrow something." He said, "Give him twice the amount. If he wants to take your tunic, give him your cloak. If he compels you to go a mile, go two. If he slaps you in the face, give him the other cheek to slap you again."
Talk about extremes and just plain dying to yourself.
Reading this makes me ponder on this last year... and even the year to come (about my cotidian doings).
Interesting... We try to plan for the upcomming year and try to make resolutions... but what about the now? Every single day is one to verbally confess that we are the Lord's, that we are alive to follow and obey Him, that we breathe because He allows us to, that our bodies stay intact because He permits it, that we have in our possession His eternal word that others might not know about.
Think about it. Where are we now? In a place where the Lord wants us? Or is there something in my life hindering His movement in my life? Because we do have that capacity: to permit or reject His moving in our lives. So we must regularly examine ourselves. Not just at the end of the year. Why Christ might come in the Summer! So then if we just think back once it's the end of the year, then it's of no real use. God's an "always" God. God works always... not only when we stop to really realize that He is.
Like breathing, we're always breathing. We don't breathe only when we realize that we're inhailing and exhailing. Breathing is so regular and such an everyday thing that we forget the fact that we're actually breathing. But I sincerely pray that I never take the Lord's constant calling out to me and His continual grace for granted. That it doesn't become just some type of "background music" that fades away, yet still being there, due to some habituation process.
So God is always working, and when we stop to realize that He's working is actually when we stop to realize how much we're letting Him work in our lives. Why wouldn't God want to work in our lives every second of our everyday lives? I mean radically work in our lives. We are in desperate need for Him and He's not a God to hide from His creation or play hide-and-go-seek. He makes Himself known! So it must be us. We're the one's impeding His working in our lives. Whether it's looking to other things for pleasure or creating idols or loving things more than Him, such things creep into our lives yet we are flagrantly creating a larger cliff between us and God. Why would we do that?!
Instead, call out to Jesus Christ who's, in a more vivid sense, the bridge that gets us from one side of the precipice to the other in order for us to meet the Father.
These pensaments remind me, once again, that the Lord is already working in and through me, that He is so willing and eager to work in and through me and you more than you or I can ever imagine, and that you and I must die to ourselves every single waking day in order for that to happen.
P.S. He says He'll help you the whole way through ;)
Thursday, December 23, 2010
When I'm Driving into Eternity
When I'm driving I usually have some type of music or sermon going on...
I've been known to be a girl who plays the same songs over and over... and over :D
Mom or sis are always requesting a different cd ha ha... but for some reason I don't tire of listening to the same music. These are some of the songs that I listen to over and over:
Arms Open Wide- Hillsong United
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
This is Our God- Hillsong
I Exalt Thee
I Will Exalt You- Hillsong
Sing to the Lord- Hillsong
Like Incense/Sometimes by Step- Hillsong
Albertine- Brooke Fraser
Beautiful Exchange- Hillsong
El Aire de Tu Casa- Jesus Adrian Romero
Mi Universo- Jesus Adrian Romero
Oh Lord, You're Beautiful- Jesus Culture
I Surrender All
Amazing Grace
Captivate Us- Watermark
Who Are We Fooling? (And Brooke Fraser's music in total)
Hallelujah- Bethany Dillon
Only Hope- Switchfoot
And there's a ton more but these are the ones that are usually repeated... and maybe I like the melody of the songs but what stands out to me are the lyrics... what's the message? If the melody is beautiful and the lyrics are horrid or make no sense to me... then I discard it. That song's "vibrance" so-to-speak or its meaningfulness, if it has any, will easily and hastely fade away. Like a beautiful person; if they have rotten insides, then the outside and all its shine is superficially built because what's inside lasts longer than what we can see. So if you are to judge a song, judge it by its lyrics for THERE lies its meaning.
That's my reason for the over-usage of the "Repeat" button with those songs... poor button ha ha. I can sing them over and over and over and not once do I get tired of it.
Now, entering the matter of hymns.
Hymns are known to be "old", outdated, boring, too slow.
Ha ha, and in fact I LOVE hymns. Yes I do :)
I dunno... like when I first heard "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" I just remained still and closed my eyes. Such a beautiful hymn speaking about what we should be focused on. This is a portion of a hymn written in the 1920s, still applicable today in this day and age. How? It speaks truth, from His word. Because His word is applicable ALWAYS. Hymns drip with the truth of Jesus Christ! They express a prayer of mine. Like "I Surrender All," "I Exalt Thee," "Amazing Grace," or simply songs that demonstrate qualities of the Lord: love, forgiveness, purity, surrender, living a holy life... what He's done, what He offers.
Maybe I just love hymns because they've stood the test of time. They still stand true today and I can open my mouth to sing along because they AREN'T outdated. They're so modern actually.
NOW entering the topic of repetition... because I tend to wonder why I replay songs over and over without getting jaded. And just saying, "It's because I like them... they're my favorite" doesn't seem to quite answer my question: why is it that I replay these songs over and other people prefer to hear other songs?
Hillsong has the tendency to repeat a verse in their songs over and over. Why? To emphasize a point. To linger in that specific moment, statement, words, thought. To dive in, go deeper. To seriously consider what is being said or sung. To absorb it into your mind and heart. To meditate on it. It's not just to make a song longer or fill in some more seconds of the track. If that were the case, then the band would just sing, "La la la's." There's something about repeating the songs that I tend to repeat that aids and reminds and refreshes the soul. I come to understand more of who the Lord is. It is in the meditation of His word as well as the dwelling and the repeated confession of that one verse, where He ministers to us.
So hymns are in reality up-to-date because the Lord is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Replaying songs 7 times in a row never gets old because His messages are never dull or fading.
There's more than enough time to think about Him and consider His ways.
So take that time because it ripples into eternity.
I've been known to be a girl who plays the same songs over and over... and over :D
Mom or sis are always requesting a different cd ha ha... but for some reason I don't tire of listening to the same music. These are some of the songs that I listen to over and over:
Arms Open Wide- Hillsong United
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
This is Our God- Hillsong
I Exalt Thee
I Will Exalt You- Hillsong
Sing to the Lord- Hillsong
Like Incense/Sometimes by Step- Hillsong
Albertine- Brooke Fraser
Beautiful Exchange- Hillsong
El Aire de Tu Casa- Jesus Adrian Romero
Mi Universo- Jesus Adrian Romero
Oh Lord, You're Beautiful- Jesus Culture
I Surrender All
Amazing Grace
Captivate Us- Watermark
Who Are We Fooling? (And Brooke Fraser's music in total)
Hallelujah- Bethany Dillon
Only Hope- Switchfoot
And there's a ton more but these are the ones that are usually repeated... and maybe I like the melody of the songs but what stands out to me are the lyrics... what's the message? If the melody is beautiful and the lyrics are horrid or make no sense to me... then I discard it. That song's "vibrance" so-to-speak or its meaningfulness, if it has any, will easily and hastely fade away. Like a beautiful person; if they have rotten insides, then the outside and all its shine is superficially built because what's inside lasts longer than what we can see. So if you are to judge a song, judge it by its lyrics for THERE lies its meaning.
That's my reason for the over-usage of the "Repeat" button with those songs... poor button ha ha. I can sing them over and over and over and not once do I get tired of it.
Now, entering the matter of hymns.
Hymns are known to be "old", outdated, boring, too slow.
Ha ha, and in fact I LOVE hymns. Yes I do :)
I dunno... like when I first heard "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" I just remained still and closed my eyes. Such a beautiful hymn speaking about what we should be focused on. This is a portion of a hymn written in the 1920s, still applicable today in this day and age. How? It speaks truth, from His word. Because His word is applicable ALWAYS. Hymns drip with the truth of Jesus Christ! They express a prayer of mine. Like "I Surrender All," "I Exalt Thee," "Amazing Grace," or simply songs that demonstrate qualities of the Lord: love, forgiveness, purity, surrender, living a holy life... what He's done, what He offers.
Maybe I just love hymns because they've stood the test of time. They still stand true today and I can open my mouth to sing along because they AREN'T outdated. They're so modern actually.
NOW entering the topic of repetition... because I tend to wonder why I replay songs over and over without getting jaded. And just saying, "It's because I like them... they're my favorite" doesn't seem to quite answer my question: why is it that I replay these songs over and other people prefer to hear other songs?
Hillsong has the tendency to repeat a verse in their songs over and over. Why? To emphasize a point. To linger in that specific moment, statement, words, thought. To dive in, go deeper. To seriously consider what is being said or sung. To absorb it into your mind and heart. To meditate on it. It's not just to make a song longer or fill in some more seconds of the track. If that were the case, then the band would just sing, "La la la's." There's something about repeating the songs that I tend to repeat that aids and reminds and refreshes the soul. I come to understand more of who the Lord is. It is in the meditation of His word as well as the dwelling and the repeated confession of that one verse, where He ministers to us.
So hymns are in reality up-to-date because the Lord is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Replaying songs 7 times in a row never gets old because His messages are never dull or fading.
There's more than enough time to think about Him and consider His ways.
So take that time because it ripples into eternity.
Monday, December 20, 2010
THIS IS A TEST
Classes ended about 4 days ago for me. I took 19 credit hours, 7 classes total but only attended 6 classes and I'll tell you why in time.
I checked if my grades were online last night and I had 4 of them posted: 3 A's... and an F.
WHAT?
Never had I seen an F on my transcript. And there it was. A big, fat F. F is for feo ("ugly" in Spanish).
I was in shock, but I got to it! Went to my email and wrote two professors... So here's the spiel:
This F was posted for a Spanish class (of ALL the subjects possible, ha ha: Spanish)... which clearly pointed that SOMETHING surely went wrong and it wasn't me. Before the semester began I took a placement test to see if I could be exempt from this Spanish class. I took it (which took me about 3 hours and a throbbing finger from writing so much) and was informed later that I passed with an A to the Lord's praise. So that meant that I didn't have to attend the class; I just had to register for it to get the credit, for it to go towards my minor. And that's exactly what I did. I informed the professor of that class about my situation so that everything went smoothly... until I saw the F on my unofficial transcript.
It was late last night by the time I saw the horrible grade and wrote the professors to see what was up, so they were probably going to respond until the next day. Waiting... oh what a skill and exercise.
After writing the email I went downstairs to the living room where mom and dad were and sat on the couch. I was silent but my mind was going 100mph. They were aware that I was checking if my final grades were posted so dad asked, "So did you find out what your grades are?"
I choked. My right hand went to my eyes as I was telling myself in my mind, "Suck it up. Don't cry, don't cry." Mom muted the T.V. and her face automatically showed concern, "What happened honey?" In the midst of my cracking voice I told them about my F on my trascript and how confused I was about why that grade was there.
Now pause for a moment.
In the aftermath (which I will reveal later)... I started thinking: "Why did I respond in that way?" With automatic fear and anxiety and tears of frustration and confusion...
1) I saw the F on my unofficial transcript and I was like, "Oh my goodness it's on my TRANSCRIPT" which I totally consider extremely legit and final.
2) I thought, "I must have missed something in the process of being exempt from that Spanish class. Maybe I HAD to attend class? But why? Maybe someone gave me the wrong information and I took their word for it..." So these thoughts haunted my mind except TRUST. In who? The Lord. Not once did I think about that in the midst of this dilemma. Why?
Mom and dad assured me it was just a mistake and that it could surely be fixed...
Let's continue.
A coworker at work early today let me check my email on her phone, which I greatly appreciated. I checked and one of the professors had written back to let me know that it was a mistake and that it could easily be fixed with some paperwork. Later, the professor of the class wrote me to let me know that she effectively changed my grade from an F to an A.
I was relieved!
NOW I was relieved huh? When everything came out the way I had wanted and had planned since the beginning of the semester.
Mom asked me later (when I told her about the outcome), "Praise the Lord. See? Everything came out right. How come you reacted that way last night? (Me freaking out)"
I took this question directly from the Lord, not my mom.
Yes, I strive in my studies to get good grades and I expect a certain grade in the end... as in life, one plans for the future to see specific fruits. But what happens when your plans are altered? What if things DON'T come out the way you had planned?
In my case, I tried to scurry and find reasons for the glitch. "What did I do wrong? What did THEY do wrong? I need to fix it now!!!!"
But instead of finding a "reason," why didn't I trust? Trust the Lord...
I automatically got flustered.
To my shame and humiliation, but to the Lord's exaltation, I realized a few things:
1) I can plan for certain things, maybe do everything step by step and meticulously to get everything right; but the Lord decides what happens in the end.
This was declared ages ago in the Lord's word in Proverbs (16:1). So what are we to do in these situations? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Prov. 3:5
2) Even in situations that deviate from your calculated plans and could naturally evoke frustration, praise Him anyways. "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:18
My response was anxiety, frustration, nervousness, fear but the Lord said, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6
I am now reminded of Peter walking on the water... a tiny glimpse of doubt invaded him and he began to sink.
So from this I conclude that the Lord is more legit than anything that we can even see with our eyes and touch with our hands. He's way above and more powerful and in complete control of every single detail of the universe. I conclude that even if I miss something, some step, or even if I do EVERY single step for a specific outcome, Jesus Christ's will will prevail. I conclude that I need more of Him. I conclude by sincerely praying Luke 17:5: Increase my faith Jesus.
In grades or in life, TRUST in Christ.
Trust in Christ.
I checked if my grades were online last night and I had 4 of them posted: 3 A's... and an F.
WHAT?
Never had I seen an F on my transcript. And there it was. A big, fat F. F is for feo ("ugly" in Spanish).
I was in shock, but I got to it! Went to my email and wrote two professors... So here's the spiel:
This F was posted for a Spanish class (of ALL the subjects possible, ha ha: Spanish)... which clearly pointed that SOMETHING surely went wrong and it wasn't me. Before the semester began I took a placement test to see if I could be exempt from this Spanish class. I took it (which took me about 3 hours and a throbbing finger from writing so much) and was informed later that I passed with an A to the Lord's praise. So that meant that I didn't have to attend the class; I just had to register for it to get the credit, for it to go towards my minor. And that's exactly what I did. I informed the professor of that class about my situation so that everything went smoothly... until I saw the F on my unofficial transcript.
It was late last night by the time I saw the horrible grade and wrote the professors to see what was up, so they were probably going to respond until the next day. Waiting... oh what a skill and exercise.
After writing the email I went downstairs to the living room where mom and dad were and sat on the couch. I was silent but my mind was going 100mph. They were aware that I was checking if my final grades were posted so dad asked, "So did you find out what your grades are?"
I choked. My right hand went to my eyes as I was telling myself in my mind, "Suck it up. Don't cry, don't cry." Mom muted the T.V. and her face automatically showed concern, "What happened honey?" In the midst of my cracking voice I told them about my F on my trascript and how confused I was about why that grade was there.
Now pause for a moment.
In the aftermath (which I will reveal later)... I started thinking: "Why did I respond in that way?" With automatic fear and anxiety and tears of frustration and confusion...
1) I saw the F on my unofficial transcript and I was like, "Oh my goodness it's on my TRANSCRIPT" which I totally consider extremely legit and final.
2) I thought, "I must have missed something in the process of being exempt from that Spanish class. Maybe I HAD to attend class? But why? Maybe someone gave me the wrong information and I took their word for it..." So these thoughts haunted my mind except TRUST. In who? The Lord. Not once did I think about that in the midst of this dilemma. Why?
Mom and dad assured me it was just a mistake and that it could surely be fixed...
Let's continue.
A coworker at work early today let me check my email on her phone, which I greatly appreciated. I checked and one of the professors had written back to let me know that it was a mistake and that it could easily be fixed with some paperwork. Later, the professor of the class wrote me to let me know that she effectively changed my grade from an F to an A.
I was relieved!
NOW I was relieved huh? When everything came out the way I had wanted and had planned since the beginning of the semester.
Mom asked me later (when I told her about the outcome), "Praise the Lord. See? Everything came out right. How come you reacted that way last night? (Me freaking out)"
I took this question directly from the Lord, not my mom.
Yes, I strive in my studies to get good grades and I expect a certain grade in the end... as in life, one plans for the future to see specific fruits. But what happens when your plans are altered? What if things DON'T come out the way you had planned?
In my case, I tried to scurry and find reasons for the glitch. "What did I do wrong? What did THEY do wrong? I need to fix it now!!!!"
But instead of finding a "reason," why didn't I trust? Trust the Lord...
I automatically got flustered.
To my shame and humiliation, but to the Lord's exaltation, I realized a few things:
1) I can plan for certain things, maybe do everything step by step and meticulously to get everything right; but the Lord decides what happens in the end.
This was declared ages ago in the Lord's word in Proverbs (16:1). So what are we to do in these situations? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Prov. 3:5
2) Even in situations that deviate from your calculated plans and could naturally evoke frustration, praise Him anyways. "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:18
My response was anxiety, frustration, nervousness, fear but the Lord said, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6
I am now reminded of Peter walking on the water... a tiny glimpse of doubt invaded him and he began to sink.
So from this I conclude that the Lord is more legit than anything that we can even see with our eyes and touch with our hands. He's way above and more powerful and in complete control of every single detail of the universe. I conclude that even if I miss something, some step, or even if I do EVERY single step for a specific outcome, Jesus Christ's will will prevail. I conclude that I need more of Him. I conclude by sincerely praying Luke 17:5: Increase my faith Jesus.
In grades or in life, TRUST in Christ.
Trust in Christ.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Organizing the heart
I wrote the following last night (or this morning rather). It was on my heart and I knew I couldn't go to sleep without sorting it out...
When somebody’s short with you and you don’t understand why… it’s hard to let that just slide. Well for me, I try to find the “Why.” Because it tends to hurt. And I want to know if I did something and what it was so I could fix it. But there are just some people that don’t like to explain themselves. So then what?
When you end up at a dead end what happens next?
What happens when someone’s angry at you just because?
What happens when you can’t find the reason?
What happens when you are SO certain you didn’t do anything wrong, yet the other person holds something against you? Something they don’t even want to talk about…
You know what I think? I think I should be the one to say, “I’m sorry.”
But supposedly I didn’t do anything wrong. So why in the world would I be the one to apologize?
Doesn’t seem to make sense does it? Yeah, not at first glance. But that’s the beauty of a humble heart, of surrender, of breaking pride to pieces: Being humble makes no sense, to the natural mind. It’s something I am not capable of alone. Do you know why? I am pride-full. I find myself scoffing at that person who gives me the silent treatment because I see their stubbornness and pride so ostentatiously. Still, I pay them back with the same coin: pride. Waiting for THEM to talk to me because “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Acting like my life is fine to show that they can’t hurt me; trying to act strong. But I find that this festers up inside of me. I’m convicted.
The humblest heart is the greatest.
That’s a supernatural statement. Believe it.
So as I am humbled by the Lord’s hand, I come to find rest. I come to find love. I come to find forgiveness. I come to find… my eyes set on Christ. With my eyes set on that other person, I automatically try to find something wrong with that person. With my eyes set on me, my heart falters and my pride swells. With my eyes set on Christ, everything else ends up where it’s supposed to be: below Him. Even I end up below Him. And what a wonderful place that is to be. To fall flat on your face before His mighty throne. To be in such a need for His love that it’s literally desperation. To have such a hunger for all that He is that anything but Him will just not do.
Praise the Lord for putting a desire for Him in our hearts. Praise the Lord that He made me need Him. Praise the Lord that I am nothing without Him. Praise the Lord that nothing in this world satisfies.
Meditating on how the flesh battles with the Spirit, I realize how bad I am. Yes, bad. I’m bad. You’re bad. As in awful, vile, despicable. Only by the blood of the Lamb, by faith, am I made otherwise. So I never did anything (and never will do anything) that makes me anything other than bad. It’s only Christ who changes me, who made me new, who redeemed me.
So should I say, “I’m sorry. Whatever I did I’m so sorry,” without understanding or finding a reason of WHY I’m even apologizing? Yes, I should.
There are some things in the Designer’s master plan that we’re not going to understand. All we know is that we can trust Him. That’s a promise, and the Lord is such a gentleman to never break His promises. So as we know that His promises are true, and that He repeatedly tells us to trust Him, we can hold on to that. So even if we’re clueless about certain things, everything’s fine. Because it is He in charge of shaping your life. Everything’s going to be ok because Christ, my Friend and King, is still in control. And still His Word prevails, “All things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”
The last shall be first.
The Lord draws near to those of lowly heart.
Humble yourselves before the mighty hand of God…
1:30 a.m.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Opportunity
Papa and mama are treasures in my life... each night I take the time to give both of them a kiss before going to bed. Papa asks me, "Is that a tradition you have or what?" I answer, "No, I see it as an opportunity to take hold of while I can."
Here's a little personification of Opportunity:
“ ‘What is thy name?’
‘My name is Opportunity.’
‘Why hast thou wings on thy feet?’
‘That I may fly swiftly.’
‘Why has thou a great forelock?’
‘That men may seize me when I am come.’
‘Why are thou bald in back?’
‘That when I go by, none can lay hold of me.’ ”
So this shall be the topic of this blog: opportunity.
It comes everyday... to talk to a new person, but what about? To say thank you, but what for? To pray, for what reason? To sing, about what? To smile, because? To encourage someone, but how?
SO many questions! But to these all the more I ask "Why not?"
From talking to a new person, whether it's about the weather or about Jesus Christ, why not? To say thank you, whether it's for the smallest things in life or for breath itself, why not? To take time to pray for that girl in class who vehemantly denies Christ or for that orphan I've never met, why not? To sing out loud in my car even though people stare, why not? To smile while I'm walking alone through school even though others might think I'm weird, why not? To encourage someone over and over, why not?
Opportunity invades my life! Well, that makes it sound like a bad thing... and it's actually not (although we have the opportunity for some bad decisions but I'll touch on "positive" opportunity).
Opportunity walks into my life and sometimes I don't even recognize it. Other times maybe I do recognize it but I'm afraid to take it... why? I guess I'm afraid of the outcome. Maybe someone might reject me in some way, I'll be made fun of or thought a fool, or others might think I'm too forward with some things.
(As I write these things I realize that I'm really thoughtful of what other people think... hm. Interesting.)
Nevertheless, I want to take that challenge of taking hold of opportunity.
Every day is filled with it. To say, "I love you," to sis every night before bed. Smiling to a person even though they might not smile back. Bringing up the Bible or Christ in a conversation.
What shall I do?
TAKE IT
GO FOR IT
Here's a little personification of Opportunity:
“ ‘What is thy name?’
‘My name is Opportunity.’
‘Why hast thou wings on thy feet?’
‘That I may fly swiftly.’
‘Why has thou a great forelock?’
‘That men may seize me when I am come.’
‘Why are thou bald in back?’
‘That when I go by, none can lay hold of me.’ ”
So this shall be the topic of this blog: opportunity.
It comes everyday... to talk to a new person, but what about? To say thank you, but what for? To pray, for what reason? To sing, about what? To smile, because? To encourage someone, but how?
SO many questions! But to these all the more I ask "Why not?"
From talking to a new person, whether it's about the weather or about Jesus Christ, why not? To say thank you, whether it's for the smallest things in life or for breath itself, why not? To take time to pray for that girl in class who vehemantly denies Christ or for that orphan I've never met, why not? To sing out loud in my car even though people stare, why not? To smile while I'm walking alone through school even though others might think I'm weird, why not? To encourage someone over and over, why not?
Opportunity invades my life! Well, that makes it sound like a bad thing... and it's actually not (although we have the opportunity for some bad decisions but I'll touch on "positive" opportunity).
Opportunity walks into my life and sometimes I don't even recognize it. Other times maybe I do recognize it but I'm afraid to take it... why? I guess I'm afraid of the outcome. Maybe someone might reject me in some way, I'll be made fun of or thought a fool, or others might think I'm too forward with some things.
(As I write these things I realize that I'm really thoughtful of what other people think... hm. Interesting.)
Nevertheless, I want to take that challenge of taking hold of opportunity.
Every day is filled with it. To say, "I love you," to sis every night before bed. Smiling to a person even though they might not smile back. Bringing up the Bible or Christ in a conversation.
What shall I do?
TAKE IT
GO FOR IT
Saturday, December 4, 2010
My Week in a Nutshell
I've been thinking of themes for my next post... themes that the Lord's been teaching me this past week:
Gratitude's been a HUGE one
Submission has been another one... in the face of anger mostly...
Being joyful at all times (actually that's been a life lesson that I'm still "in class" for)
Making better use of my time... at school, at work, and at home...
Loving others even though I wouldn't be loved in return...
So I'll just speak a little about all of them:
Gratitude
I've been urged to live gratitude out instead of just saying, "Thank you." I've created the habit of verbalizing "Thank you," when I remember of my full ride scholarship, that I'm a first-generation child at college, that I can speak,when I don't understand what's going on, when I realize of all the blessings that I have, when I seem to be having the worst day of my life...
I say "Thank you," not to the air or to empty space but to the Lord listening to me; because it's directed to Him. There are two aspects here: 1) I verbalize my thanks because keeping it inside is like not opening a present when you recieve one, you just HAVE to open the gift up, so I have to open the thanks in my heart with my lips. 2) I have found that only saying thanks isn't enough. I want to express my thanks in something that portrays an announcement, a broadcast of my thanks... like some say: living out loud. The more you think about what you should be thankful for, the more your cup is filled until it overflows and THAT'S what I mean by "broadcasting my thanks": overflowing gratitude.
Submission
Oh what a theme! Submission. When I think of submission I mostly think of humbleness in the face of adversity, in the face of situations that make me itch to speak up in retaliation, in moments when I DO have the opportunity to defend myself: BUT I DON'T. Why? That's the greatness of submission!: having the option to take things into your own hands but choosing not to; choosing to submit to something... and I've submitted to God. Even to leaders in my life such as my parents. Maybe you think I sound like an adolescent saying this but sometimes when I don't see my parents being fair towards me I get bothered... yet I submit. Because I am to honor them. The Lord has put them in my life (rather put ME in THEIR lives) to teach me of who He is. So when the flesh whispers to talk back, to stop being obedient, to do the things that do not please my God, I call out in desperation to my Rescue, to my Redeemer and His Spirit counsels me in wisdom and truth.
Joy
How can a person have joy ALL the time? "You mean you expect me to be 'joyful' when my mom dies?! If I get in an accident?! If people make fun of me?! If I get sick?! That's impossible..."
No, it's not. Not with Jesus.
Those thoughts above used to be MY thoughts... how could the Lord expect me to be joyful in the midst of such adversity?! Yet, I started to think about it (a way in which the Lord works in our hearts) once I started a James bible study on my own... the following verses pierced my heart:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials" WHAAAT? Then came, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." OOOOOH. Ok.
John MacArthur commented, "The natural human response to trials is not to rejoice; therefore the believer must make a conscious commitment to face them with joy."
When the Word says, "testing of your faith" in this context it refers to the proving of the genuineness of my faith in God; as how genuine a piece of so-called gold is when it is put through arduous fire.
When the Word says, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience," brings the finished product into view: Patience. In other words, trials are beneficial in that endurance is produced, perseverance is produced. Well THAT'S awesome! If trials prove how genuine my faith is and they produce endurance then bring it on!
Oh but how fragile we humans are. How unconstant we are that doubt creeps into our heart so easily because we let it. So I pray and continue to pray! That the Lord leads me back to Him in times so hard. Even hard times that are yet to come... that I may run to Him and increasingly trust in His perfect and good will.
Time
Time waits for no one. In fact, I've found time to be such a bother that I have no clock in my room. And the time that my laptop shows on my toolbar is set to only appear when I point my mouse to the bottom right of my screen. I just DON'T like time rushing me! It stresses me out. Yet, we live in it. xP
Even though, I want to make the best use of my time. T.V. is a big-time time stealer. It hogs my eyes and therefore the rest of me! Ugh. And I'm not saying, "TAKE THAT T.V. OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!" (I've heard other people say, "T.V. is the devil's box..." yeesh! That's an extremist point of view that I don't agree on.) I am saying that if you let it, T.V. will define what you spent most of your life doing.
T.V., the computer, the phone, or even laziness can be idols (and so much more). I've observed and examined what I use most of my time on. "Am I using my time wisely?" This question can be a burden but a good one at that, because I am convicted with what I am devoting my time to the most. Are those things controlling me or am I controlling those things?
So as the clock keeps ticking, so does life. What am I using my life up for? Is there an eternal purpose to it? Well the Word says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor 10:31
How convicting! It's totally directed to my lifestyle and I praise God for that because He corrects those whom He loves.
Love
Oof. Delicate subject eh? Loving others can go from loving the one who you're married to (or the one who you're planning on marrying) to loving a person that spits in your face.
Loving those who love you back is easy! Piece of cake.
But loving those who hate you and reject you? "What for?!"
Yet, this love is the greatest and the truest of any "loves" that people have created across time: unconditional love. I've lived some trials in my life that I wouldn't desire for ANYONE... not going into detail now I'll just tell you that it's mostly family-related. Loving somebody who insults you and seems to have no remorse about it... loving somebody when that somebody harms another somebody you love... loving somebody when they continuously bring up a mistake you made in the past... loving somebody when they say "Sorry" yet they do it again...
Possible? Yes.
Hard? Yes.
Worth it? Yes.
It has been such a gracious experience that the Lord has allowed me to traverse in this life. To love unconditionally... and I'm still in the process of learning. It's not that you learn in a second: "BAM! You now know how to love unconditionally! :) Thank you for stopping by! Buh bye!" It's not some fairy godmother magical bippity boppity boo moment. It's a lifetime of a lesson. And yes, we are the ones in need of loving unconditionally but we do not have to go through all of it alone: Jesus aids (what grace)! He comes to the rescue. He forgives. He loves. He shelters. He guides. He listens. He speaks. He works. THROUGH IT ALL.
SUCH an epitome of unconditional love is shown at the cross as Jesus died for us saying, "'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" He's talking about US!! Telling the Father to forgive us (those past, present, and yet to come) when we put Him on that cross! It. Is. Mind-boggling.
THAT'S unconditional love. It triumphs over everything.
And the Lord has been teaching me because before I used to say, "Oh I'd rather not get into relationships (ANY) because people always let you down..." Such a perspective was taught to me and I derived it as a child from experiences I mentioned earlier... But the Lord is faithful to correct :) so graciously might I add.
Let's face reality: you make yourself vulnerable when you have a relationship. That had always been my fear: to put myself out there and then get hurt. Yet, you also welcome forgiveness and patience and laughter and smiles and kindness and lessons to learn and the just the opportunity to LOVE someone... we all need more of that.
Read the following journal entry I made on September 19. It's one of three that I wrote that day as the Lord was speaking to me about the same subject:
"So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13
So from something as practical as making better use of my time to something as supernatural as loving unconditionally, the Lord has worked in me this past week. I can't imagine what else He has in store for the rest of my life! Even for you?!
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jer 29:11
"'You will seek me and find me, if you seek me with all your heart.'" Jer 29:13
Gratitude's been a HUGE one
Submission has been another one... in the face of anger mostly...
Being joyful at all times (actually that's been a life lesson that I'm still "in class" for)
Making better use of my time... at school, at work, and at home...
Loving others even though I wouldn't be loved in return...
So I'll just speak a little about all of them:
Gratitude
I've been urged to live gratitude out instead of just saying, "Thank you." I've created the habit of verbalizing "Thank you," when I remember of my full ride scholarship, that I'm a first-generation child at college, that I can speak,when I don't understand what's going on, when I realize of all the blessings that I have, when I seem to be having the worst day of my life...
I say "Thank you," not to the air or to empty space but to the Lord listening to me; because it's directed to Him. There are two aspects here: 1) I verbalize my thanks because keeping it inside is like not opening a present when you recieve one, you just HAVE to open the gift up, so I have to open the thanks in my heart with my lips. 2) I have found that only saying thanks isn't enough. I want to express my thanks in something that portrays an announcement, a broadcast of my thanks... like some say: living out loud. The more you think about what you should be thankful for, the more your cup is filled until it overflows and THAT'S what I mean by "broadcasting my thanks": overflowing gratitude.
Submission
Oh what a theme! Submission. When I think of submission I mostly think of humbleness in the face of adversity, in the face of situations that make me itch to speak up in retaliation, in moments when I DO have the opportunity to defend myself: BUT I DON'T. Why? That's the greatness of submission!: having the option to take things into your own hands but choosing not to; choosing to submit to something... and I've submitted to God. Even to leaders in my life such as my parents. Maybe you think I sound like an adolescent saying this but sometimes when I don't see my parents being fair towards me I get bothered... yet I submit. Because I am to honor them. The Lord has put them in my life (rather put ME in THEIR lives) to teach me of who He is. So when the flesh whispers to talk back, to stop being obedient, to do the things that do not please my God, I call out in desperation to my Rescue, to my Redeemer and His Spirit counsels me in wisdom and truth.
Joy
How can a person have joy ALL the time? "You mean you expect me to be 'joyful' when my mom dies?! If I get in an accident?! If people make fun of me?! If I get sick?! That's impossible..."
No, it's not. Not with Jesus.
Those thoughts above used to be MY thoughts... how could the Lord expect me to be joyful in the midst of such adversity?! Yet, I started to think about it (a way in which the Lord works in our hearts) once I started a James bible study on my own... the following verses pierced my heart:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials" WHAAAT? Then came, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." OOOOOH. Ok.
John MacArthur commented, "The natural human response to trials is not to rejoice; therefore the believer must make a conscious commitment to face them with joy."
When the Word says, "testing of your faith" in this context it refers to the proving of the genuineness of my faith in God; as how genuine a piece of so-called gold is when it is put through arduous fire.
When the Word says, "knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience," brings the finished product into view: Patience. In other words, trials are beneficial in that endurance is produced, perseverance is produced. Well THAT'S awesome! If trials prove how genuine my faith is and they produce endurance then bring it on!
Oh but how fragile we humans are. How unconstant we are that doubt creeps into our heart so easily because we let it. So I pray and continue to pray! That the Lord leads me back to Him in times so hard. Even hard times that are yet to come... that I may run to Him and increasingly trust in His perfect and good will.
Time
Time waits for no one. In fact, I've found time to be such a bother that I have no clock in my room. And the time that my laptop shows on my toolbar is set to only appear when I point my mouse to the bottom right of my screen. I just DON'T like time rushing me! It stresses me out. Yet, we live in it. xP
Even though, I want to make the best use of my time. T.V. is a big-time time stealer. It hogs my eyes and therefore the rest of me! Ugh. And I'm not saying, "TAKE THAT T.V. OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!" (I've heard other people say, "T.V. is the devil's box..." yeesh! That's an extremist point of view that I don't agree on.) I am saying that if you let it, T.V. will define what you spent most of your life doing.
T.V., the computer, the phone, or even laziness can be idols (and so much more). I've observed and examined what I use most of my time on. "Am I using my time wisely?" This question can be a burden but a good one at that, because I am convicted with what I am devoting my time to the most. Are those things controlling me or am I controlling those things?
So as the clock keeps ticking, so does life. What am I using my life up for? Is there an eternal purpose to it? Well the Word says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor 10:31
How convicting! It's totally directed to my lifestyle and I praise God for that because He corrects those whom He loves.
Love
Oof. Delicate subject eh? Loving others can go from loving the one who you're married to (or the one who you're planning on marrying) to loving a person that spits in your face.
Loving those who love you back is easy! Piece of cake.
But loving those who hate you and reject you? "What for?!"
Yet, this love is the greatest and the truest of any "loves" that people have created across time: unconditional love. I've lived some trials in my life that I wouldn't desire for ANYONE... not going into detail now I'll just tell you that it's mostly family-related. Loving somebody who insults you and seems to have no remorse about it... loving somebody when that somebody harms another somebody you love... loving somebody when they continuously bring up a mistake you made in the past... loving somebody when they say "Sorry" yet they do it again...
Possible? Yes.
Hard? Yes.
Worth it? Yes.
It has been such a gracious experience that the Lord has allowed me to traverse in this life. To love unconditionally... and I'm still in the process of learning. It's not that you learn in a second: "BAM! You now know how to love unconditionally! :) Thank you for stopping by! Buh bye!" It's not some fairy godmother magical bippity boppity boo moment. It's a lifetime of a lesson. And yes, we are the ones in need of loving unconditionally but we do not have to go through all of it alone: Jesus aids (what grace)! He comes to the rescue. He forgives. He loves. He shelters. He guides. He listens. He speaks. He works. THROUGH IT ALL.
SUCH an epitome of unconditional love is shown at the cross as Jesus died for us saying, "'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" He's talking about US!! Telling the Father to forgive us (those past, present, and yet to come) when we put Him on that cross! It. Is. Mind-boggling.
THAT'S unconditional love. It triumphs over everything.
And the Lord has been teaching me because before I used to say, "Oh I'd rather not get into relationships (ANY) because people always let you down..." Such a perspective was taught to me and I derived it as a child from experiences I mentioned earlier... But the Lord is faithful to correct :) so graciously might I add.
Let's face reality: you make yourself vulnerable when you have a relationship. That had always been my fear: to put myself out there and then get hurt. Yet, you also welcome forgiveness and patience and laughter and smiles and kindness and lessons to learn and the just the opportunity to LOVE someone... we all need more of that.
Read the following journal entry I made on September 19. It's one of three that I wrote that day as the Lord was speaking to me about the same subject:
Tonight I was feeling a tug on my heart. To quickly get on my knees… have you ever felt that? It happens to me at school, at work… places you usually don’t kneel to pray. I was in my room this time however. Going to get something to finish my homework yet I deviated and locked the door for no interruptions. I knelt… not knowing how to begin, what to say. Just to remain silent and recognize that I was kneeling before the King of Kings by the blood of Jesus Christ the Mediator. My main thought was, “I just don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to be betrayed.”
Then came, “He was betrayed, he was hurt. Tortured.” I was broken. Even at a glimpse of time the Father turned His face away from His only begotten son Jesus Christ! Something that seems agonizing to the soul even for a second. For a moment He was abandoned with the unbearable weight of the entire world’s sin. And I don’t want to be betrayed or hurt? Think again.
“For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.” Hebrews 12:3
And what makes this more humbling is that as He was spat on, whipped… He stayed. He remained. Why? For me. For you. For those who have passed. For those who are yet to be born. He was betrayed, hurt… for all of us. Willingly. Such a thought astounds me and shakes all of me to reality of who He really is. The grand Savior. The only Savior. No one compares.
Thank you Jesus
7:58pm
"So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor 13:13
So from something as practical as making better use of my time to something as supernatural as loving unconditionally, the Lord has worked in me this past week. I can't imagine what else He has in store for the rest of my life! Even for you?!
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" Jer 29:11
"'You will seek me and find me, if you seek me with all your heart.'" Jer 29:13
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Exemplify
I started singing a song that mama used to sing to me when I was little:
Los niños son de Cristo Children are from the Lord
Él es su Salvador He is their Savior
Son joyas muy preciosas They are precious jewels
Comprolas con Su amor Bought with His love
Joyas, joyas, joyas Jewels, jewels, jewels
Joyas del Salvador Jewels of the Savior
Que estan en esta tierra That are on this earth
Cual luz y dulce amor Such lights and sweet love
Los niños son tesoros Children are treasures
Pues que del cielo son For they are from heaven
Luz refulgentes Brilliant lights
En horas de aflicción During times of sorrow
Joyas, joyas, joyas Jewels, jewels, jewels
Joyas del Salvador Jewels of the Savior
Que estan en esta tierra That are on this earth
Cual luz y dulce amor Such lights and sweet love
And a snapshot of the kiddos that I take care of at work just came into my head. I opened my eyes and the tears just started to well up as I stopped singing...
Many of the kids at work say things that to me at my age are unmentionable. It leaves me in awe and I can't help but wonder where they get those words and habits from. Some kids bluntly mention how mom and dad let them do this or that. Mom and dad let them use this word, so why can't the Center let them use it during the day?
My tears swelled of sadness. Just thinking of how completely corrupted this world is. We are all born sinners, yes, even I. Yet, the Lord has offered salvation and some that know of it, in this specific case some parents, don't take hold of it. Their lifestyle then is reflected in the speech and behaviors of the little ones who have been "taught" that it's ok to speak in such inappropriate ways. At the Center we stop the kids from speaking with bad language right when we hear it and chat with them face-to-face to encourage not using that type of language, to not sing that song because it's completely inappropriate, to treat others nicely and with respect... yet when the day's over they go back home to the same mundane life of mom and dad's "exemplary" lifestyle and they come back the next day with a new inappropriate word, another inappropriate song that mom sings. As counselors (so called at work) we inform the parents of the child's wrong language usage and that's all we can do... the parent can either correct or apathetically let it slide...
I ponder on how parents have such a gift of raising a child up and how much more of a privilege, an eternal treasure, it is to raise the child up in the Lord's ways. How blessed that mother and father are in the Lord's eyes! Each child looks up to mom and dad and imitates every single thing that they do! Parents living a life portraying Christ is a segway for the child to come to know of Christ as He is made known by prayer and His word. It is then when the child grows up that he or she makes the decision to follow the Lord, to declare Him as Savior. But how much is the child affected and influenced by the parents! This makes me realize what a crucial role in life a parent, or any leader for that matter, has... raising up, directing future generations. CRUCIAL
And I feel so impotent as each child I come into contact with at work has a much more powerful driving force than I at their home: their parents. And my intention is not to OVERPOWER each kid's life to take over their parent's spot; but I ask myself, "What can I do?"
I think of the Lord's patience (such a patience!... even with me... praise the Lord) in watching parents raise their child in such vile ways that seem completely normal today. Such ways that are even indirectly encouraged by the parents because they are amused when the little one pops the F bomb at the dinner table. Chuckles are exchanged and the kiddos are told not to say that... but chuckles were exchanged. The child heard the chuckles and the child him/herself is amused because he/she amused the parents! "So why not try it again...?"
I am not a parent myself so some would call me "unqualified" to say what I've said. However, knowing the God I serve and coming to know Him even more as I walk in this life, He does reveal how he wants us to live and how not to live... it's all IN HIS WORD. How to live by His word and live worshipfully for the Lord, for Him. I am seeing, as I work where I work, how not to live. So how do I live then? By His word. Whether it is being a parent, being a sister, being a friend, being a daughter... He's revealed to us how to live. So I cling to His word that lights my way and to the hope that everyone, even at the ends of the earth, will come to hear His name and His word before He comes. And I pray that He might use me for that task. I want to be an instrument for His work and His glory.
"For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome." 1 John 5:3 (emphasis added)
Los niños son de Cristo Children are from the Lord
Él es su Salvador He is their Savior
Son joyas muy preciosas They are precious jewels
Comprolas con Su amor Bought with His love
Joyas, joyas, joyas Jewels, jewels, jewels
Joyas del Salvador Jewels of the Savior
Que estan en esta tierra That are on this earth
Cual luz y dulce amor Such lights and sweet love
Los niños son tesoros Children are treasures
Pues que del cielo son For they are from heaven
Luz refulgentes Brilliant lights
En horas de aflicción During times of sorrow
Joyas, joyas, joyas Jewels, jewels, jewels
Joyas del Salvador Jewels of the Savior
Que estan en esta tierra That are on this earth
Cual luz y dulce amor Such lights and sweet love
And a snapshot of the kiddos that I take care of at work just came into my head. I opened my eyes and the tears just started to well up as I stopped singing...
Many of the kids at work say things that to me at my age are unmentionable. It leaves me in awe and I can't help but wonder where they get those words and habits from. Some kids bluntly mention how mom and dad let them do this or that. Mom and dad let them use this word, so why can't the Center let them use it during the day?
My tears swelled of sadness. Just thinking of how completely corrupted this world is. We are all born sinners, yes, even I. Yet, the Lord has offered salvation and some that know of it, in this specific case some parents, don't take hold of it. Their lifestyle then is reflected in the speech and behaviors of the little ones who have been "taught" that it's ok to speak in such inappropriate ways. At the Center we stop the kids from speaking with bad language right when we hear it and chat with them face-to-face to encourage not using that type of language, to not sing that song because it's completely inappropriate, to treat others nicely and with respect... yet when the day's over they go back home to the same mundane life of mom and dad's "exemplary" lifestyle and they come back the next day with a new inappropriate word, another inappropriate song that mom sings. As counselors (so called at work) we inform the parents of the child's wrong language usage and that's all we can do... the parent can either correct or apathetically let it slide...
I ponder on how parents have such a gift of raising a child up and how much more of a privilege, an eternal treasure, it is to raise the child up in the Lord's ways. How blessed that mother and father are in the Lord's eyes! Each child looks up to mom and dad and imitates every single thing that they do! Parents living a life portraying Christ is a segway for the child to come to know of Christ as He is made known by prayer and His word. It is then when the child grows up that he or she makes the decision to follow the Lord, to declare Him as Savior. But how much is the child affected and influenced by the parents! This makes me realize what a crucial role in life a parent, or any leader for that matter, has... raising up, directing future generations. CRUCIAL
And I feel so impotent as each child I come into contact with at work has a much more powerful driving force than I at their home: their parents. And my intention is not to OVERPOWER each kid's life to take over their parent's spot; but I ask myself, "What can I do?"
I think of the Lord's patience (such a patience!... even with me... praise the Lord) in watching parents raise their child in such vile ways that seem completely normal today. Such ways that are even indirectly encouraged by the parents because they are amused when the little one pops the F bomb at the dinner table. Chuckles are exchanged and the kiddos are told not to say that... but chuckles were exchanged. The child heard the chuckles and the child him/herself is amused because he/she amused the parents! "So why not try it again...?"
I am not a parent myself so some would call me "unqualified" to say what I've said. However, knowing the God I serve and coming to know Him even more as I walk in this life, He does reveal how he wants us to live and how not to live... it's all IN HIS WORD. How to live by His word and live worshipfully for the Lord, for Him. I am seeing, as I work where I work, how not to live. So how do I live then? By His word. Whether it is being a parent, being a sister, being a friend, being a daughter... He's revealed to us how to live. So I cling to His word that lights my way and to the hope that everyone, even at the ends of the earth, will come to hear His name and His word before He comes. And I pray that He might use me for that task. I want to be an instrument for His work and His glory.
"For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome." 1 John 5:3 (emphasis added)
Friday, November 26, 2010
Motives
It's come to mind, "What if I didn't have a voice?" Literally.
"Could I still worship the Lord?"
(YES)
Such questions are a constant reminder of how much greater and grander it is to worship as a way of living; a lifestyle. Not just merely with the melodious resonating of your vocal chords or the exclamation "Praise Jesus!"
It's WAY more than that. In fact, the latter is insignificant, worthless if you're not living such a life as to please the Lord; such a life that screams "I worship You Lord!"
Actions DO speak louder than words.
I always tell the Lord, "Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and mind;" (Psalm 26:2)
My motives... even for being given the opportunity to lead worship: I WANT the Lord to test me!
I think, "What if I didn't have a voice..." and something in me saddens... and it's because of my love for singing. How I love to SING! To get the notes right and to improve on my harmonies! I get so excited about it!! Yet it would be wrong for me to love that more than I love my God... to love ANYTHING or ANYONE more than God.
I want it to be for my God! A tribute! To use my voice to unleash and release praises and melodies for HIM! Singing hymns and raising my voice for the One who saves. Yes, I often meditate and check myself on if I am becoming proud of my voice... in fact I don't like saying it's "my voice". It's His. But as soon as I am reminded of such pride I rebuke it! "Humble me. Humble me." I repeat it. I've thought and said, "Lord, if You must or if in any way I'm not using my voice in the manner You want me to please just take it away." Even if it's a glimpse of, "I own my voice," I want Him to deplete it.
In fact, I've thought of how my life would be if I weren't able to sing... now don't get me wrong: I thank Jesus Christ for this gift He's given me... but let's suppose. I like supposing such things to check myself and to see where I stand:
If I weren't able to sing, yet still had life, I could still worship Him. So that rules out that singing is worship. Singing is a way, a manner to worship the Lord in songs. But it is not WORSHIP. To say that singing is worship is to diminish the Lord's word and what He said about worship and that's a big NO-NO. Worship is bigger, much greater than that. Let's go one step further. If I couldn't move a muscle in my body, could I still worship the Lord? Yes, I could STILL worship the Lord.
Notice Psalm 150: 6, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord." One requirement to praise the Lord: breath.
Worship begins on the inside and proceeds to permeate your way of life.
"'But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.'" John 4:23-24
Thinking of such possibilities or scenarios as I've mentioned above makes me even more grateful at the fact that I can use my voice for HIS glory, that I can raise my hands as a gesture of surrender to HIM, that I can clap my hands and jump and leap and yell because my whole being erupts with joy at HIS greatness and majesty and such grace and mercy HE'S had upon all... upon me. All for HIS GLORY.
So this singing facet of my life is one of many facets that I constantly examine and that we must all do. And I pray to the Lord that all the other facets and crevices of my life, my heart, be examined by His all-seeing eye! I don't even trust my own heart, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" therefore I run to the One who sees right into me and can correct my crookedness; where in His sight there is nothing that can be hidden. For He says, "'I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.'"
He knows me better than I know myself.
Praise the Lord for that.
"Could I still worship the Lord?"
(YES)
Such questions are a constant reminder of how much greater and grander it is to worship as a way of living; a lifestyle. Not just merely with the melodious resonating of your vocal chords or the exclamation "Praise Jesus!"
It's WAY more than that. In fact, the latter is insignificant, worthless if you're not living such a life as to please the Lord; such a life that screams "I worship You Lord!"
Actions DO speak louder than words.
I always tell the Lord, "Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and mind;" (Psalm 26:2)
My motives... even for being given the opportunity to lead worship: I WANT the Lord to test me!
I think, "What if I didn't have a voice..." and something in me saddens... and it's because of my love for singing. How I love to SING! To get the notes right and to improve on my harmonies! I get so excited about it!! Yet it would be wrong for me to love that more than I love my God... to love ANYTHING or ANYONE more than God.
I want it to be for my God! A tribute! To use my voice to unleash and release praises and melodies for HIM! Singing hymns and raising my voice for the One who saves. Yes, I often meditate and check myself on if I am becoming proud of my voice... in fact I don't like saying it's "my voice". It's His. But as soon as I am reminded of such pride I rebuke it! "Humble me. Humble me." I repeat it. I've thought and said, "Lord, if You must or if in any way I'm not using my voice in the manner You want me to please just take it away." Even if it's a glimpse of, "I own my voice," I want Him to deplete it.
In fact, I've thought of how my life would be if I weren't able to sing... now don't get me wrong: I thank Jesus Christ for this gift He's given me... but let's suppose. I like supposing such things to check myself and to see where I stand:
If I weren't able to sing, yet still had life, I could still worship Him. So that rules out that singing is worship. Singing is a way, a manner to worship the Lord in songs. But it is not WORSHIP. To say that singing is worship is to diminish the Lord's word and what He said about worship and that's a big NO-NO. Worship is bigger, much greater than that. Let's go one step further. If I couldn't move a muscle in my body, could I still worship the Lord? Yes, I could STILL worship the Lord.
Notice Psalm 150: 6, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord." One requirement to praise the Lord: breath.
Worship begins on the inside and proceeds to permeate your way of life.
"'But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.'" John 4:23-24
Thinking of such possibilities or scenarios as I've mentioned above makes me even more grateful at the fact that I can use my voice for HIS glory, that I can raise my hands as a gesture of surrender to HIM, that I can clap my hands and jump and leap and yell because my whole being erupts with joy at HIS greatness and majesty and such grace and mercy HE'S had upon all... upon me. All for HIS GLORY.
So this singing facet of my life is one of many facets that I constantly examine and that we must all do. And I pray to the Lord that all the other facets and crevices of my life, my heart, be examined by His all-seeing eye! I don't even trust my own heart, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" therefore I run to the One who sees right into me and can correct my crookedness; where in His sight there is nothing that can be hidden. For He says, "'I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.'"
He knows me better than I know myself.
Praise the Lord for that.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Planned or Unplanned?
What a day! :D
Unexpected blessings came to greet me today!! But I shall tell of one :)
So at work I'm the counselor (what they call us) of PlayStation: an open, indoor space of foosball, air hockey, pop-a-shot, pool, ping pong, board games, puzzles, Wii, K'nex, blocks, Twister, etc. Today I just found out I'm going to be a homeroom teacher!!! IN LIFE ROCKS!!! It might not sound so delightful to you but oh how I longed for that room!!! Life Rocks was the room that I went in when I was hired: fuse beads, knitting, framed collages, friendship bracelets, necklaces, sewing....Love at first sight!
Then later, because of my lack of knowledge of the rooms' names I mistakenly claimed that I was in "Exploration" the science and math room, but what I meant to say was "Life Rocks," the awesomest room ever. Nice. So Life Rocks floated away and I was never assigned to that room again.
I was assigned to Pre-teens for the summer which was a great learning experience. Then, when the school-year began I was assigned to PlayStation: the area evaded by ALL the counselors due to the extreme noise and the hard-to-monitor area of endless competition between the kiddos. What a challenge! I was up for it :)
So it's been quite the journey... sitting down with the child whose tears are flowing because he lost the game, engaging the sequenced clapping to get the kids' attention to remind them they need to use their "inside voice", endlessly playing ping pong as the previous child tired of playing and the child that just arrived is extremely eager to play the game...there I go again: ping...*pick the ball up*...pong...*wait for the little one to run and get the ball he/she missed*...ping...*pick the ball up*...pong...*again pick it up*...ping...pong, helping a child build a SuperSet motorcycle and having to heed to another child's exclamation that someone destroyed his Lego jet from the safe shelf. Can anyone say multitasking? Well, thank the Lord that my ears are intact and that He's grown my patience since I first ran PlayStation. Every experience is a learning one if you want it to be.
So the Life Rocks lead counselor got a job as a social worker and there's an empty position! My dream room has a position available?! No way! WAY! :D I came to find out after a weekend [of no work] that any of the counselors who wanted to be in Life Rocks could put their name on the Supervisor's list. So I did! It was me up against a counselor who has been working there for about... 10 years? More or less. She's SO experienced, responsible, wise, a sure bet... and I'm a newbe with less than 6 months of work here who's never really even had a homeroom. Many were saying that the other counselor would for sure get it and to not feel bad if she did. I just remained silent. I did think of both possibilities though: "if she gets it that's so awesome because I know she would love that room and she's such a great counselor; if I get it I would get the chance to improve and work harder in the room that I love!" But the Lord knows.
I got a text today from a coworker that the boss called everyone to a meeting and announced that I was going to be assigned to Life Rocks (I didn't go to work today because I have a full day of school). What joy! It seemed unexpected but such a pleasant unexpected! And at the same time it seemed expected... I just thanked the Lord. I didn't know He had that in mind... but it was planned :) and with this I'll leave you with a journal entry I wrote on October 26, 2010 of an "unexpected" encounter... or so I thought:
Unexpected blessings came to greet me today!! But I shall tell of one :)
So at work I'm the counselor (what they call us) of PlayStation: an open, indoor space of foosball, air hockey, pop-a-shot, pool, ping pong, board games, puzzles, Wii, K'nex, blocks, Twister, etc. Today I just found out I'm going to be a homeroom teacher!!! IN LIFE ROCKS!!! It might not sound so delightful to you but oh how I longed for that room!!! Life Rocks was the room that I went in when I was hired: fuse beads, knitting, framed collages, friendship bracelets, necklaces, sewing....Love at first sight!
Then later, because of my lack of knowledge of the rooms' names I mistakenly claimed that I was in "Exploration" the science and math room, but what I meant to say was "Life Rocks," the awesomest room ever. Nice. So Life Rocks floated away and I was never assigned to that room again.
I was assigned to Pre-teens for the summer which was a great learning experience. Then, when the school-year began I was assigned to PlayStation: the area evaded by ALL the counselors due to the extreme noise and the hard-to-monitor area of endless competition between the kiddos. What a challenge! I was up for it :)
So it's been quite the journey... sitting down with the child whose tears are flowing because he lost the game, engaging the sequenced clapping to get the kids' attention to remind them they need to use their "inside voice", endlessly playing ping pong as the previous child tired of playing and the child that just arrived is extremely eager to play the game...there I go again: ping...*pick the ball up*...pong...*wait for the little one to run and get the ball he/she missed*...ping...*pick the ball up*...pong...*again pick it up*...ping...pong, helping a child build a SuperSet motorcycle and having to heed to another child's exclamation that someone destroyed his Lego jet from the safe shelf. Can anyone say multitasking? Well, thank the Lord that my ears are intact and that He's grown my patience since I first ran PlayStation. Every experience is a learning one if you want it to be.
So the Life Rocks lead counselor got a job as a social worker and there's an empty position! My dream room has a position available?! No way! WAY! :D I came to find out after a weekend [of no work] that any of the counselors who wanted to be in Life Rocks could put their name on the Supervisor's list. So I did! It was me up against a counselor who has been working there for about... 10 years? More or less. She's SO experienced, responsible, wise, a sure bet... and I'm a newbe with less than 6 months of work here who's never really even had a homeroom. Many were saying that the other counselor would for sure get it and to not feel bad if she did. I just remained silent. I did think of both possibilities though: "if she gets it that's so awesome because I know she would love that room and she's such a great counselor; if I get it I would get the chance to improve and work harder in the room that I love!" But the Lord knows.
I got a text today from a coworker that the boss called everyone to a meeting and announced that I was going to be assigned to Life Rocks (I didn't go to work today because I have a full day of school). What joy! It seemed unexpected but such a pleasant unexpected! And at the same time it seemed expected... I just thanked the Lord. I didn't know He had that in mind... but it was planned :) and with this I'll leave you with a journal entry I wrote on October 26, 2010 of an "unexpected" encounter... or so I thought:
I just saw an old friend. Others would say he’s an old foe. But I was thinking, “I love how random the Lord is…” Then a thought came saying, “Is it randomness or is it planned?” Ha ha: it’s planned. The Lord knows everything that’s going to happen and all of the happenings; past, present, and future all happen under His authority. Interesting. We don’t see events like that huh? Things “just happen” right? Nope. Nothing comes to pass without His permission. We say that “Life” takes its turns as if life is its own entity. Life is in the Lord’s hands and under His control. Good or bad, a perceived positive or negative event goes through the Lord’s say before we encounter it… I say “perceived” because all events for His children are good. Whether they are labeled advantageous or disadvantageous… Rom 8:28 J they ALL work for good. That’s His will for our lives so we can rejoice because every single thing, every single second of our lives, every single happening happens under His eye.
Monday, November 22, 2010
It's late
...a Spanish presentation on Argentina...
...a learning and cognition homework assignment...
...catching up on my sports psych class...
...writing a paper on intercultural comm and presenting it...
...finishing a book for a final...
...writing a Spanish essay as a final...
Shall I continue?
I'd rather not.
I have a ton of things to do as you can see... and it's quite late.
I don't feel bothered though and I'm not sure that's a good thing :D
HOWEVER, I do look forward to the end of this week as I will be spending time with my family and experiencing wonderful fellowship with the ones I love! Can't wait :) But I must :(
Daydreaming of the end of the week yet still having things to do to get there!!
Ha ha, that's when perseverance comes to mind.
From persevering in finishing a homework assignment to persevering in graduating to persevering in obtaining a career, etc.
Yet the one that stands out the most to me is persevering for the cause of Christ.
Perseverance is EVERYWHERE! Thank the Lord that He helps us through everything huh?
From the smallest, seemingly the most insignificant yet significant aspect of life to something as eternal as faith and love, He aids us.
What a completely faithful God I serve.
*sigh*
:)
...a learning and cognition homework assignment...
...catching up on my sports psych class...
...writing a paper on intercultural comm and presenting it...
...finishing a book for a final...
...writing a Spanish essay as a final...
Shall I continue?
I'd rather not.
I have a ton of things to do as you can see... and it's quite late.
I don't feel bothered though and I'm not sure that's a good thing :D
HOWEVER, I do look forward to the end of this week as I will be spending time with my family and experiencing wonderful fellowship with the ones I love! Can't wait :) But I must :(
Daydreaming of the end of the week yet still having things to do to get there!!
Ha ha, that's when perseverance comes to mind.
From persevering in finishing a homework assignment to persevering in graduating to persevering in obtaining a career, etc.
Yet the one that stands out the most to me is persevering for the cause of Christ.
Perseverance is EVERYWHERE! Thank the Lord that He helps us through everything huh?
From the smallest, seemingly the most insignificant yet significant aspect of life to something as eternal as faith and love, He aids us.
What a completely faithful God I serve.
*sigh*
:)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Start
I finally created one :)
First, I had one and I lost the sign-in info.
Then, I didn't want to get one because it asked for my birthday, mandatory, and I didn't want to give it.
But now, I did :)
Pure Rebellion
Just last night
AMAZING
Inspiring
Powerful
Exciting
Tears
Joy
Regret
NEW
Surrender
Grace
Passion
SO many words describe last night but above all GOD was in it. Just to hear the voices of generations singing out loud to the only, true God was a sweet yet kingdom-shaking sound to MY ears; I wonder how pleasing it was to the Lord. The smell of surrender and broken hearts rose up to Him.
SO many young ones approached the front. From the back it looked like a sea of lifted hands. Lights were dimmed and I had to meander my way to the front. But that caused me joy and thankfulness to my God: for that place to be so full that I had to squeeze through people to reach the front myself is a praise.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
Don't know what Pure Rebellion is?
Check it out :)
http://www.purerebellion.com/
WORTH IT
So that intensive round is over. But we're still in the ring... today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, for the rest of our lives. To speak His word, the keep Love a verb, to go against the flow of this world, to live for Him, to serve, to pray for those who mean harm, to rejoice when for His sake we are ridiculed.
"What's your purpose in life? I'll tell you what it is: to live sold-out for Christ. Simple as that."
First, I had one and I lost the sign-in info.
Then, I didn't want to get one because it asked for my birthday, mandatory, and I didn't want to give it.
But now, I did :)
Pure Rebellion
Just last night
AMAZING
Inspiring
Powerful
Exciting
Tears
Joy
Regret
NEW
Surrender
Grace
Passion
SO many words describe last night but above all GOD was in it. Just to hear the voices of generations singing out loud to the only, true God was a sweet yet kingdom-shaking sound to MY ears; I wonder how pleasing it was to the Lord. The smell of surrender and broken hearts rose up to Him.
SO many young ones approached the front. From the back it looked like a sea of lifted hands. Lights were dimmed and I had to meander my way to the front. But that caused me joy and thankfulness to my God: for that place to be so full that I had to squeeze through people to reach the front myself is a praise.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
Don't know what Pure Rebellion is?
Check it out :)
http://www.purerebellion.com/
WORTH IT
So that intensive round is over. But we're still in the ring... today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, for the rest of our lives. To speak His word, the keep Love a verb, to go against the flow of this world, to live for Him, to serve, to pray for those who mean harm, to rejoice when for His sake we are ridiculed.
"What's your purpose in life? I'll tell you what it is: to live sold-out for Christ. Simple as that."
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