Classes ended about 4 days ago for me. I took 19 credit hours, 7 classes total but only attended 6 classes and I'll tell you why in time.
I checked if my grades were online last night and I had 4 of them posted: 3 A's... and an F.
WHAT?
Never had I seen an F on my transcript. And there it was. A big, fat F. F is for feo ("ugly" in Spanish).
I was in shock, but I got to it! Went to my email and wrote two professors... So here's the spiel:
This F was posted for a Spanish class (of ALL the subjects possible, ha ha: Spanish)... which clearly pointed that SOMETHING surely went wrong and it wasn't me. Before the semester began I took a placement test to see if I could be exempt from this Spanish class. I took it (which took me about 3 hours and a throbbing finger from writing so much) and was informed later that I passed with an A to the Lord's praise. So that meant that I didn't have to attend the class; I just had to register for it to get the credit, for it to go towards my minor. And that's exactly what I did. I informed the professor of that class about my situation so that everything went smoothly... until I saw the F on my unofficial transcript.
It was late last night by the time I saw the horrible grade and wrote the professors to see what was up, so they were probably going to respond until the next day. Waiting... oh what a skill and exercise.
After writing the email I went downstairs to the living room where mom and dad were and sat on the couch. I was silent but my mind was going 100mph. They were aware that I was checking if my final grades were posted so dad asked, "So did you find out what your grades are?"
I choked. My right hand went to my eyes as I was telling myself in my mind, "Suck it up. Don't cry, don't cry." Mom muted the T.V. and her face automatically showed concern, "What happened honey?" In the midst of my cracking voice I told them about my F on my trascript and how confused I was about why that grade was there.
Now pause for a moment.
In the aftermath (which I will reveal later)... I started thinking: "Why did I respond in that way?" With automatic fear and anxiety and tears of frustration and confusion...
1) I saw the F on my unofficial transcript and I was like, "Oh my goodness it's on my TRANSCRIPT" which I totally consider extremely legit and final.
2) I thought, "I must have missed something in the process of being exempt from that Spanish class. Maybe I HAD to attend class? But why? Maybe someone gave me the wrong information and I took their word for it..." So these thoughts haunted my mind except TRUST. In who? The Lord. Not once did I think about that in the midst of this dilemma. Why?
Mom and dad assured me it was just a mistake and that it could surely be fixed...
Let's continue.
A coworker at work early today let me check my email on her phone, which I greatly appreciated. I checked and one of the professors had written back to let me know that it was a mistake and that it could easily be fixed with some paperwork. Later, the professor of the class wrote me to let me know that she effectively changed my grade from an F to an A.
I was relieved!
NOW I was relieved huh? When everything came out the way I had wanted and had planned since the beginning of the semester.
Mom asked me later (when I told her about the outcome), "Praise the Lord. See? Everything came out right. How come you reacted that way last night? (Me freaking out)"
I took this question directly from the Lord, not my mom.
Yes, I strive in my studies to get good grades and I expect a certain grade in the end... as in life, one plans for the future to see specific fruits. But what happens when your plans are altered? What if things DON'T come out the way you had planned?
In my case, I tried to scurry and find reasons for the glitch. "What did I do wrong? What did THEY do wrong? I need to fix it now!!!!"
But instead of finding a "reason," why didn't I trust? Trust the Lord...
I automatically got flustered.
To my shame and humiliation, but to the Lord's exaltation, I realized a few things:
1) I can plan for certain things, maybe do everything step by step and meticulously to get everything right; but the Lord decides what happens in the end.
This was declared ages ago in the Lord's word in Proverbs (16:1). So what are we to do in these situations? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Prov. 3:5
2) Even in situations that deviate from your calculated plans and could naturally evoke frustration, praise Him anyways. "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thess 5:18
My response was anxiety, frustration, nervousness, fear but the Lord said, "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phil 4:6
I am now reminded of Peter walking on the water... a tiny glimpse of doubt invaded him and he began to sink.
So from this I conclude that the Lord is more legit than anything that we can even see with our eyes and touch with our hands. He's way above and more powerful and in complete control of every single detail of the universe. I conclude that even if I miss something, some step, or even if I do EVERY single step for a specific outcome, Jesus Christ's will will prevail. I conclude that I need more of Him. I conclude by sincerely praying Luke 17:5: Increase my faith Jesus.
In grades or in life, TRUST in Christ.
Trust in Christ.
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