Before reading this post, read this one so you can get a better perspective of it all ;)
Today was amazing.
Although anyone could call any day amazing because of what they believe is amazing not because of some set standard of amazing.
Ok that was a bit philosophical but today was spiritually amazing.
That's what I was getting at. :)
That might not make sense but what I mean by "spiritually amazing" is that today was a very refreshing day in which I, along with my family, were brought closer to the Lord.
We spent time in the Word, reading one verse each, "going around the circle" so-to-speak. Specifically, we read Isaiah 58...
"The Lord will guide you always;
He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail."
(The above is just a glimpse of the whole chapter we read... one of my favorite verses of the chapter.)
We prayed.
And something that humbled me was that my dad was led to pray for me, after we had already prayed for others and for situations that we are in at the moment and just confirming the Lord's Word in our lives.
I was taken aback for a second... dad specifically felt led to pray for me, as did my mom. But oh how I welcomed it!
I knelt and we prayed.
It was SO filled with the Lord's presence. He was there.
And I don't say that because of the tears that were shed during the prayer nor because one of us might have felt chills, for that doesn't confirm the Lord's presence. I know He was there. By faith. Because of the prayer's direction to glorify the Lord and because there were 3 of us there calling upon the name of the Lord.
He spoke. And I listened.
It was humbling.
It was uplifting.
All at the same time.
It broke me and put me back together.
It made me cry and made me smile.
Today was a different day.
Like a radio, we tuned in to the Lord's voice... doing away with the static and the fuzz that's been clouding our lives lately.
Today when eating dinner dad asked me, "Are you happy?"
I said, "Yes," my emotions quickly being stirred because I knew that I meant it.
He then asked, "If the Lord came to you right now and said, 'Daughter, what do you want? I will give you anything you desire.' What would you answer Him?"
I quickly smiled, a defense mechanism of mine which tries to hold my tears back. Tears welling up in my eyes seriously demonstrating my sincerity in answer, "'I want to be with You more.'"
I felt like adding a "'Please'" at the end... somehow expressing my earnest desire for that request.
I pray that I may tune in to the Lord's voice and His will every single day of the rest of my life.
Help me Christ.
I love You.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Broken and Released
Mom said, "Well, in a moment of trouble sometimes you get verses in your head. Or even just when you might be in class you remember a verse or a passage from the Word. That's the Lord speaking to you."
I've been told that various times but it is now in my life that I am grasping that.
I was led to pick up a book that's been sitting on my shelf since I bought it at a secondhand store. It's called The Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee. A while ago I had started to read his book Let Us Pray in Spanish but I suppose it was my lack of time to read it... I just didn't make time to read it and I never finished it.
A little Watchman Nee biography for ya:
Born 1903- Died 1972 in China
He changed his name from Engish version Henry Nee to Watchman Nee "for he considered himself a watchman raised up to sound a warning call in the dark night."
Nee spent around 20 years of his life in prison persecuted because of the Gospel
He has about 55 books available in English
He traveled around communist China planting churches
He never went to seminar or theological school
For more go to watchmannee.org
Some quotes from The Release of the Spirit are:
"Anyone who serves God will discover sooner or later that the great hindrance to his work is not others but himself." And he said this when he was being persecuted...
"Without the breaking of the outward, the inward will not come forth. Thus individually we have no flowing out, but even the Church does not have a living way. Why then should we hold ourselves as so precious, if our outward contains instead of releases the fragrance?"
"Brokenness is the way of blessing, the way of fragrance, the way of fruitfulness, but it is also a path sprinkled with blood. Yes, there is blood from many wounds. When we offer ourselves to the Lord to be at His service, we cannot affort to be lenient, to spare ourselves. We must allow the Lord utterly to crack our outward man, so that He may find a way for His out working."
"The Lord has not waisted even one thing. To understand the Lord's purpose, is to see very clearly that He is aiming at a single objective: the destroying or breaking of the outward man. However, too many, even before the Lord raises a hand, are already upset. Oh, we must realize that all the experiences, troubles and trials which the Lord sends us are for our highest good. We cannot expect the Lord to give better things, for these are His best."
"Should one approach the Lord and pray, saying, 'Oh, Lord, please let me choose the best?' I believe the Lord would tell him, 'What I have given you is the best; your daily trials are for your greatest profit.' So the motive behind all the orderings of God is to destroy our outward man. Once this occurs and the spirit can come forth, we begin to be able to exercise our spirit."
"The timing is in His hand. We cannot shorten the time, though we certainly can prolong it. In some lives the Lord is able to accomplish this work after a few years of dealing; in others it is evident that after ten or twenty years the work is still unfinished. This is most serious! Nothing is more grievous than wasting God's time. How often the Church is hindered! We can preach by using our mind, we can stir others by using our emotions, yet if we do not know how to use our spirit, the Spirit of God cannot touch people through us. The loss is great, should we needlessly prolong the time."
"'It is the Spirit which quickens.'... The Spirit alone makes people live. Your best thought, your best emotion, cannot make people live. Man can be brought to life only by the Spirit."
"...the release of the spirit is the release of the human spirit as well as the release of the Holy Spirt, Who is in the spirit of man... When the Holy Spirit is working, He needs to be carried by the human spirit. The electricity in an electric bulb does not travel like lightning. It must be conducted through electric wires. If you want to use electricity, you need an electric wire to bring it to you. In like manner, the Spririt of God employs the human spirit as His carrier, and through it He is brought to man."
"So God's Spirit is imprisoned within man's spirit and is not able to break forth. Sometimes our outward man (soul) is active, but the inward man (spirit) remans inactive. The outward man has gone forth, while the inward man lags behind."
Before reading this book I had come to the conclusion that something in my life was missing. Specifically, a zeal for the Lord and his Word. A fire that churns, which then awakens me to the reality of life. The word "apathy" constantly echoed in my mind and I prayed against it. I wanted to be more alive, I want to be more alive to the things of the Spirit and dead to the world.
Just last night our family had a tense moment due to anxiety and panic attacks that have been coming on whenever it feels like it. I entered mom and dad's room where they were talking and mom had tears streaming down her face. I sat down to join the newsflash. And the newsflash wasn't that mom was feeling the anxiety coming on again. The newsflash was that our family had never been like this before. Dad had just been diagnosed with adjustment disorder along with anxiety disorder and depression. And mom was feeling discouraged which led to the surge of anxiety.
Just put simply, it was spiritual attack. We were weary. But why?
Dad said, "The Word is being suffocated."
This rang in my ears because it confirms what I've been convicted of recently... of lacking in the usage of His Word or acting upon it... like a radical living of His Word. And even more, it confirmed what the book was mentioning, which I was led to read two nights ago.
We have the Word.
We have the Spirit.
We are in possession of it, but it is waning due to the lack of its usage.
How great is our God?
That's a literal question.
How great is our God?
Do I not confess that He is the creator and ruler of the universe?
Then how come the days are passing, one by one, and I am okay with that?
I mean,
I want to burn for the Lord. I want to be on fire for Him.
I want to be zealous of His Word, of His truth like it's the last day.
I want to speak of His Word habitually, proclaim it.
I want that to be my purpose for the day... for each day.
Until He comes back.
I want to be broken like the alabaster box to release Him, because HE is the fragrance within me.
I've been told that various times but it is now in my life that I am grasping that.
I was led to pick up a book that's been sitting on my shelf since I bought it at a secondhand store. It's called The Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee. A while ago I had started to read his book Let Us Pray in Spanish but I suppose it was my lack of time to read it... I just didn't make time to read it and I never finished it.
A little Watchman Nee biography for ya:
Born 1903- Died 1972 in China
He changed his name from Engish version Henry Nee to Watchman Nee "for he considered himself a watchman raised up to sound a warning call in the dark night."
Nee spent around 20 years of his life in prison persecuted because of the Gospel
He has about 55 books available in English
He traveled around communist China planting churches
He never went to seminar or theological school
For more go to watchmannee.org
Some quotes from The Release of the Spirit are:
"Anyone who serves God will discover sooner or later that the great hindrance to his work is not others but himself." And he said this when he was being persecuted...
"Without the breaking of the outward, the inward will not come forth. Thus individually we have no flowing out, but even the Church does not have a living way. Why then should we hold ourselves as so precious, if our outward contains instead of releases the fragrance?"
"Brokenness is the way of blessing, the way of fragrance, the way of fruitfulness, but it is also a path sprinkled with blood. Yes, there is blood from many wounds. When we offer ourselves to the Lord to be at His service, we cannot affort to be lenient, to spare ourselves. We must allow the Lord utterly to crack our outward man, so that He may find a way for His out working."
"The Lord has not waisted even one thing. To understand the Lord's purpose, is to see very clearly that He is aiming at a single objective: the destroying or breaking of the outward man. However, too many, even before the Lord raises a hand, are already upset. Oh, we must realize that all the experiences, troubles and trials which the Lord sends us are for our highest good. We cannot expect the Lord to give better things, for these are His best."
"Should one approach the Lord and pray, saying, 'Oh, Lord, please let me choose the best?' I believe the Lord would tell him, 'What I have given you is the best; your daily trials are for your greatest profit.' So the motive behind all the orderings of God is to destroy our outward man. Once this occurs and the spirit can come forth, we begin to be able to exercise our spirit."
"The timing is in His hand. We cannot shorten the time, though we certainly can prolong it. In some lives the Lord is able to accomplish this work after a few years of dealing; in others it is evident that after ten or twenty years the work is still unfinished. This is most serious! Nothing is more grievous than wasting God's time. How often the Church is hindered! We can preach by using our mind, we can stir others by using our emotions, yet if we do not know how to use our spirit, the Spirit of God cannot touch people through us. The loss is great, should we needlessly prolong the time."
"'It is the Spirit which quickens.'... The Spirit alone makes people live. Your best thought, your best emotion, cannot make people live. Man can be brought to life only by the Spirit."
"...the release of the spirit is the release of the human spirit as well as the release of the Holy Spirt, Who is in the spirit of man... When the Holy Spirit is working, He needs to be carried by the human spirit. The electricity in an electric bulb does not travel like lightning. It must be conducted through electric wires. If you want to use electricity, you need an electric wire to bring it to you. In like manner, the Spririt of God employs the human spirit as His carrier, and through it He is brought to man."
"So God's Spirit is imprisoned within man's spirit and is not able to break forth. Sometimes our outward man (soul) is active, but the inward man (spirit) remans inactive. The outward man has gone forth, while the inward man lags behind."
Before reading this book I had come to the conclusion that something in my life was missing. Specifically, a zeal for the Lord and his Word. A fire that churns, which then awakens me to the reality of life. The word "apathy" constantly echoed in my mind and I prayed against it. I wanted to be more alive, I want to be more alive to the things of the Spirit and dead to the world.
Just last night our family had a tense moment due to anxiety and panic attacks that have been coming on whenever it feels like it. I entered mom and dad's room where they were talking and mom had tears streaming down her face. I sat down to join the newsflash. And the newsflash wasn't that mom was feeling the anxiety coming on again. The newsflash was that our family had never been like this before. Dad had just been diagnosed with adjustment disorder along with anxiety disorder and depression. And mom was feeling discouraged which led to the surge of anxiety.
Just put simply, it was spiritual attack. We were weary. But why?
Dad said, "The Word is being suffocated."
This rang in my ears because it confirms what I've been convicted of recently... of lacking in the usage of His Word or acting upon it... like a radical living of His Word. And even more, it confirmed what the book was mentioning, which I was led to read two nights ago.
We have the Word.
We have the Spirit.
We are in possession of it, but it is waning due to the lack of its usage.
How great is our God?
That's a literal question.
How great is our God?
Do I not confess that He is the creator and ruler of the universe?
Then how come the days are passing, one by one, and I am okay with that?
I mean,
I want to burn for the Lord. I want to be on fire for Him.
I want to be zealous of His Word, of His truth like it's the last day.
I want to speak of His Word habitually, proclaim it.
I want that to be my purpose for the day... for each day.
Until He comes back.
I want to be broken like the alabaster box to release Him, because HE is the fragrance within me.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Listener who doesn't know what to listen for
We are to be listeners of God.
Listen to what He says.
Listen to what He wants you to hear.
But how are we going to listen to Him if we don't know the ways He speaks?
And I'm referring to methods that He uses to speak to us.
Have you ever questioned that?
I know I've asked the Lord to help me listen to Him better, to quiet me from all my blabbing on and on, because I know that He wants me to listen to Him. I know that He wants to speak to me.
But there's something missing.
I conclude that there's ignorance in my life concerning knowing how He speaks.
Coming to know, to study instances in the Word, when the Lord speaks is to decline in ignorace; is to come to know Him more.
And it is my conviction that He wants me to learn how He speaks. In this, I (or we) can defer from falseness. We will know if it is truly God or some other voice, not of God, speaking to us. We will dive in deeper into the truth.
Listen to what He says.
Listen to what He wants you to hear.
But how are we going to listen to Him if we don't know the ways He speaks?
And I'm referring to methods that He uses to speak to us.
Have you ever questioned that?
I know I've asked the Lord to help me listen to Him better, to quiet me from all my blabbing on and on, because I know that He wants me to listen to Him. I know that He wants to speak to me.
But there's something missing.
I conclude that there's ignorance in my life concerning knowing how He speaks.
Coming to know, to study instances in the Word, when the Lord speaks is to decline in ignorace; is to come to know Him more.
And it is my conviction that He wants me to learn how He speaks. In this, I (or we) can defer from falseness. We will know if it is truly God or some other voice, not of God, speaking to us. We will dive in deeper into the truth.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Humbling Factor
I've been sick!! :D
Ha ha not something that I would usually be smiling about.
And don't get me wrong... I haven't been smiling :O
This was a very challenging "sickness" whatever it was.
It's receded now.
But have you ever been sick and had quiet time with the Lord?
Some might think that that's a given: to have quiet time with the Lord when you're sick because you're doing so horribly it's like a "must" to pray or something.
Others might think that it's not a given: just hurry up and get better. It's all about me, me, me.
But this quiet time I had was different. It wasn't a, "Oh Lord please help me get better. If You do then I'll do such and such," or "God, I don't know why I got this. What did I do wrong... please take it away" trying to figure out why in the world I'D be sick.
"I DON'T GET SICK! THIS CAN'T BE!!"
This quiet time was a humbling quiet time. One where you're so clueless to what's going on, all you can do is praise Him. You're so empty-handed that all you can do is go for more... of Him. You're so deep in the rut that all you can do is look up. It was a time of gratitude. It was a time of thinking on who God is. A time of being still and knowing that He is God.
When you get in those moments, when you take the time to really sit and consciously think about God, not some ecstatic experience or something that "takes you over", but you choose to meditate on the Lord, He will definitely meet you.
And it's amazing just to think that the God of the universe would take that step, make that decision to meet you... right where you are. The King of the universe! Meeting me! Wanting to hear me out. Wanting to speak to me! To me?!
It's even more amazing to know that this King died for me. Yet rose and lives. And rules.
It's all humbling.
He's all-humbling.
So it seems like this "sickness" helped me huh? I mean I could have gotten angry and just frustrated about this entire situation. I could have tried to find somebody to blame.
What good is that?
Rather this helped me know the Lord a bit more. A bit more of His infinite splendor and all-powerful sovereignty. A piece more of His glory, of His love.
"I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19
Ha ha not something that I would usually be smiling about.
And don't get me wrong... I haven't been smiling :O
This was a very challenging "sickness" whatever it was.
It's receded now.
But have you ever been sick and had quiet time with the Lord?
Some might think that that's a given: to have quiet time with the Lord when you're sick because you're doing so horribly it's like a "must" to pray or something.
Others might think that it's not a given: just hurry up and get better. It's all about me, me, me.
But this quiet time I had was different. It wasn't a, "Oh Lord please help me get better. If You do then I'll do such and such," or "God, I don't know why I got this. What did I do wrong... please take it away" trying to figure out why in the world I'D be sick.
"I DON'T GET SICK! THIS CAN'T BE!!"
This quiet time was a humbling quiet time. One where you're so clueless to what's going on, all you can do is praise Him. You're so empty-handed that all you can do is go for more... of Him. You're so deep in the rut that all you can do is look up. It was a time of gratitude. It was a time of thinking on who God is. A time of being still and knowing that He is God.
When you get in those moments, when you take the time to really sit and consciously think about God, not some ecstatic experience or something that "takes you over", but you choose to meditate on the Lord, He will definitely meet you.
And it's amazing just to think that the God of the universe would take that step, make that decision to meet you... right where you are. The King of the universe! Meeting me! Wanting to hear me out. Wanting to speak to me! To me?!
It's even more amazing to know that this King died for me. Yet rose and lives. And rules.
It's all humbling.
He's all-humbling.
So it seems like this "sickness" helped me huh? I mean I could have gotten angry and just frustrated about this entire situation. I could have tried to find somebody to blame.
What good is that?
Rather this helped me know the Lord a bit more. A bit more of His infinite splendor and all-powerful sovereignty. A piece more of His glory, of His love.
"I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:16-19
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