Mom said, "Well, in a moment of trouble sometimes you get verses in your head. Or even just when you might be in class you remember a verse or a passage from the Word. That's the Lord speaking to you."
I've been told that various times but it is now in my life that I am grasping that.
I was led to pick up a book that's been sitting on my shelf since I bought it at a secondhand store. It's called The Release of the Spirit by Watchman Nee. A while ago I had started to read his book Let Us Pray in Spanish but I suppose it was my lack of time to read it... I just didn't make time to read it and I never finished it.
A little Watchman Nee biography for ya:
Born 1903- Died 1972 in China
He changed his name from Engish version Henry Nee to Watchman Nee "for he considered himself a watchman raised up to sound a warning call in the dark night."
Nee spent around 20 years of his life in prison persecuted because of the Gospel
He has about 55 books available in English
He traveled around communist China planting churches
He never went to seminar or theological school
For more go to watchmannee.org
Some quotes from The Release of the Spirit are:
"Anyone who serves God will discover sooner or later that the great hindrance to his work is not others but himself." And he said this when he was being persecuted...
"Without the breaking of the outward, the inward will not come forth. Thus individually we have no flowing out, but even the Church does not have a living way. Why then should we hold ourselves as so precious, if our outward contains instead of releases the fragrance?"
"Brokenness is the way of blessing, the way of fragrance, the way of fruitfulness, but it is also a path sprinkled with blood. Yes, there is blood from many wounds. When we offer ourselves to the Lord to be at His service, we cannot affort to be lenient, to spare ourselves. We must allow the Lord utterly to crack our outward man, so that He may find a way for His out working."
"The Lord has not waisted even one thing. To understand the Lord's purpose, is to see very clearly that He is aiming at a single objective: the destroying or breaking of the outward man. However, too many, even before the Lord raises a hand, are already upset. Oh, we must realize that all the experiences, troubles and trials which the Lord sends us are for our highest good. We cannot expect the Lord to give better things, for these are His best."
"Should one approach the Lord and pray, saying, 'Oh, Lord, please let me choose the best?' I believe the Lord would tell him, 'What I have given you is the best; your daily trials are for your greatest profit.' So the motive behind all the orderings of God is to destroy our outward man. Once this occurs and the spirit can come forth, we begin to be able to exercise our spirit."
"The timing is in His hand. We cannot shorten the time, though we certainly can prolong it. In some lives the Lord is able to accomplish this work after a few years of dealing; in others it is evident that after ten or twenty years the work is still unfinished. This is most serious! Nothing is more grievous than wasting God's time. How often the Church is hindered! We can preach by using our mind, we can stir others by using our emotions, yet if we do not know how to use our spirit, the Spirit of God cannot touch people through us. The loss is great, should we needlessly prolong the time."
"'It is the Spirit which quickens.'... The Spirit alone makes people live. Your best thought, your best emotion, cannot make people live. Man can be brought to life only by the Spirit."
"...the release of the spirit is the release of the human spirit as well as the release of the Holy Spirt, Who is in the spirit of man... When the Holy Spirit is working, He needs to be carried by the human spirit. The electricity in an electric bulb does not travel like lightning. It must be conducted through electric wires. If you want to use electricity, you need an electric wire to bring it to you. In like manner, the Spririt of God employs the human spirit as His carrier, and through it He is brought to man."
"So God's Spirit is imprisoned within man's spirit and is not able to break forth. Sometimes our outward man (soul) is active, but the inward man (spirit) remans inactive. The outward man has gone forth, while the inward man lags behind."
Before reading this book I had come to the conclusion that something in my life was missing. Specifically, a zeal for the Lord and his Word. A fire that churns, which then awakens me to the reality of life. The word "apathy" constantly echoed in my mind and I prayed against it. I wanted to be more alive, I want to be more alive to the things of the Spirit and dead to the world.
Just last night our family had a tense moment due to anxiety and panic attacks that have been coming on whenever it feels like it. I entered mom and dad's room where they were talking and mom had tears streaming down her face. I sat down to join the newsflash. And the newsflash wasn't that mom was feeling the anxiety coming on again. The newsflash was that our family had never been like this before. Dad had just been diagnosed with adjustment disorder along with anxiety disorder and depression. And mom was feeling discouraged which led to the surge of anxiety.
Just put simply, it was spiritual attack. We were weary. But why?
Dad said, "The Word is being suffocated."
This rang in my ears because it confirms what I've been convicted of recently... of lacking in the usage of His Word or acting upon it... like a radical living of His Word. And even more, it confirmed what the book was mentioning, which I was led to read two nights ago.
We have the Word.
We have the Spirit.
We are in possession of it, but it is waning due to the lack of its usage.
How great is our God?
That's a literal question.
How great is our God?
Do I not confess that He is the creator and ruler of the universe?
Then how come the days are passing, one by one, and I am okay with that?
I mean,
I want to burn for the Lord. I want to be on fire for Him.
I want to be zealous of His Word, of His truth like it's the last day.
I want to speak of His Word habitually, proclaim it.
I want that to be my purpose for the day... for each day.
Until He comes back.
I want to be broken like the alabaster box to release Him, because HE is the fragrance within me.
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