Confrontation

My hands clam up.
My breathing becomes shallow.
My heart races.
My throat closes up.

I feel like I'm going to battle or something (with a load of fear)!

But it's only Confrontation.

I am terrified of confrontations.

But don't imagine me as a timid, weak girl that lets people have their way with her all the time. No, it's not that extreme. I am able to speak to maybe a coworker, or my boss, or my sister about something that needs changing... I'm ok with stuff like that.

But what makes me spaz are confrontations that are emotionally charged. I feel like running away. And even if the situation isn't an emotional one, if I'm emotionally charged with that person, I freak. Sometimes I can't even seem to control my tears from coming out... My mind says, "Stop it!" but my heart says, "I don't know how."

"Why?" I ask myself.
I could honestly list out so many reasons... but that would just take me to the past & what I really want to do is move forward.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP)

Touché.

My nervousness, anxiety & reaction to some sort of impending doom is nothing but my lack of trust and my dis-belief that the Lord has given me that spirit: of love, calm, a well-balanced mind, discipline & self-control... directly from Him!!

When I approach a confrontation, the Lord is with me.
He is with me.
With me!!


Now that I think about it... Jesus was all about confrontation. Oh man... the Lord just spoke to me again.
I shall return.