I feel... like change in my life is also creating sadness.
I've been so nostalgic these past few days just thinking about leaving my current job where I've been for about 2 years. Even though it's been hard there, I've also had the sweetest times with my kids... & even my coworkers. Thinking about it makes me want to cry!
...and I just shake my head while I stare at some wall becoming blurred with my tears because I never ever imagined I would feel this way. In a way, I thought I would be completely elated, with no sadness whatsoever, to leave there... but I was naive.
I used to say, "Welcome change!! I'm ready for it! Bring it on!" Oh man... I was on the mountain top when I said that. Change is good though, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it just simply hurts. Like it's inevitably coming, or already there, and you bid for it to go back where it came from because you don't want to let go of certain things or certain people.
My new job is fabulous and it is such a huge door being opened by my God... thank you Lord... yet I know He sees my sadness for moving on. I am excited for this new opportunity but looking back, at the 2 years at my other job... I have conclusively become attached to people... more than I expected, more than I ever wanted, more than I had planned. And thinking about it, I realize life has always been like that... and it will always be like that. Saying, "Farewell," to seasons of your life and saying, "Welcome," to the next.
You might compare me to the psalmist when in one chapter he was incredibly and excitingly jumping for joy praising the Lord and in the next chapter he was asking the Lord to come and save him, almost depressed... still, the psalmist always found his way back to the sovereignty of the Lord... & I find myself doing the same.
Aw I totally can FEEL the bittersweetness and how much you're going to miss all of the kiddos and your coworkers at your old job Katy :( :( Just like you said, change like this is so joyful and yet sad at the same time. I can only imagine how much! I've been praying for you and will continue to do so as you prepare for this "farewellcome" :) I'm soooo excited for you for this amazing new opportunity that the Lord's opened up and how He's going to use you in immense ways in the lives of all of the new coworkers, kids and families you'll be working with! And yet I know how difficult it might be in the meantime, so I'll be praying for the Lord's total touch and comfort as you say goodbye and say several new hellos :) As He moves you out of this season, it's like He just has more people that need to know His love and so He's sending you elsewhere as His daughter to share Himself with even more people :) I love you and miss you so much! <3
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