Preconceived Notions

How do you get rid of your preconceived notions about someone? In this case it would be someone who can be ruthless but has raised you up your entire life (aka my dad).
Does it mean that you haven't forgiven this person?
Or is it that your heart has built up walls for its safety? Does that make it a good thing?
Is having preconceived notions also known as being judgmental?

All these questions have been surging within my heart and mind.
One thing I know is that I have forgiven. I feel no bitterness toward dad. Just caution.
I love him. But I just now know who he is.
It's interesting because it has taken me this long to get to know him.
Before I really, really tried to understand him and comprehend why he got so angry (he's good at justifying his actions/arguments). But now I see that he has chosen to be that way. He said, "I'm not the problem. I'm not gonna change." Maybe I just didn't want to see the truth. And it's not like I've lost hope. No, not at all. I still pray for him and cry out to the Lord for daddy. But this has nothing to do with hereditary anger (G-pa) or with mom and I causing his outbursts. It's between the Lord and him. It's between the Lord and I. It's a one-on-one thing. Other people can be used by the Lord to work in your life but ultimately the decision is in your hands. You can open the door or you can shut it.

Through all of this hullabaloo the Lord has spoken to me one verse over and over again: Love your neighbor as yourself. The Lord has also had me read passages about being rooted in love. Love love love!
Thank the Lord for love. He is Love, and if it weren't for His sacrifice I wouldn't know what love is. All this to say that my dad is also my neighbor. So with that, I will love him as myself. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

It's a command. A sweet command. Jesus loved us when we had not even an ounce of a reason to be loved.
Something supernatural.
Something possible.

Love your neighbor as yourself.